Jerry Duncan with Songwriter Bob Dylan - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews singer/songwriter and music legend Bob Dylan.

ANNOUNCER

From under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is singer/songwriter and music legend Bob Dylan. He does it all. Sings, writes songs, paints. A rock and roll hall of famer. Welcome, Zimmy.

BOB DYLAN

I haven’t been called that in a long time.

JERRY

It’s short for your real last name Zimmerman. Right?

DYLAN

Yeah. I was born Robert Zimmerman in Duluth, Minnesota. Do you know where that is?

JERRY

No.

DYLAN

Neither do I.

JERRY

I know you’ve had a good life. But what’s the most traumatic moment you recall?

DYLAN

Besides being on your show?

JERRY

Goes without saying.

DYLAN

I get emotional when I think about it. I had just taken an acid trip. It was a beautiful morning, so I hiked on a mountain near my home. I actually made it to the top then slipped off the edge trying to find my weed. My girlfriend said I looked Like A Rolling Stone as I rolled down the side. When I awoke in the hospital, the doctor whispered Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right. Yeah. A few cracked ribs and my head screwed up, but I survived.

JERRY

(fake cry) Boo hoo, boo hoo.

DYLAN

Get a grip. Here’s a hanky.

JERRY

Thanks, man. Bob. If a blonde and a brunette jumped off a cliff, who would hit the ground first?

DYLAN

The blonde?

JERRY

The brunette. The blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

DYLAN

You’re nuts. I’m going to write a song about you, Duncan. I’ll call it Thought I Was Crazy Til I Met You.

JERRY

Will it be a love song?

DYLAN

No. Someone in an insane asylum waiting for a lobotomy.

JERRY

Not a pretty ending.

DYLAN

That’s right. You become a vegetable.

JERRY

Your songs are anthems for the civil rights and anti-war movements– Blowin in the Wind and The Times They Are A Changin. Big hits.

DYLAN

Cash cows. Cha ching, cha ching.

JERRY

You’ve sold more than 100 million records. You’re in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Songwriters Hall of Fame, Nashville Hall of Fame. You’ve received a Presidential Medal of Freedom, 10 Grammy Awards, a Golden Globe Award and an Academy Award.

DYLAN

You forgot two. The Nobel prize in literature and the biggest honor of all.

JERRY

Which is?

DYLAN

The Gas Award for smelly friends and stinky family members. Those baked bean dinners paid off.

JERRY

Tell me about your paintings.

DYLAN

I paint mostly from life. I’m interested in people and histories. Like train tracks and small towns. Where I was raised, the town was so small that Entering and Leaving signs were on the same pole.

JERRY

Are you going to cut off your ear like Van Gogh and send it to a girlfirend?

DYLAN

Which ear did Van Gough cut off?

JERRY

It doesn’t matter. The other one is left.

DYLAN

Do you wanna hear a Van Gough joke?

JERRY

Sure.

DYLAN

Alright. Ear it goes.

JERRY

One last thing. You just hit the mother lode.

DYLAN

You talking about me selling my songs to Universal Music for $300 million? Why you asking? You’re rich.

JERRY

I’m rich? It Ain’t Me Babe. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.