"You Don't Know Me!" Open Letter to Netflix - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

Nix on Netflix movie choices for me – there will be blood!

Dear Netflix,

I’m pretty ticked off when you try to analyze my viewing habits & assume my taste in visual entertainment choices – you don’t know me!

With the exception of “The Bank Dick“, “Dick Tracy” & “The Great Dictator“, it really bugs me when you pick out a show for me & preface it with ‘Because you watched’ …that’s creepy & feel like I need to take a shower!

It’s bad enough that Walgreen’s asks me if I’m ready for another douche!

For example, JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED “Brokeback Mountain, “To The Bone” & “Let Him Have It” doesn’t mean I’d like “Rear Window”!

JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED “Throw Mama From A Train”, “8 Heads in a Duffel Bag” & “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” doesn’t mean I’d like to see “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” again!

JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED “Reefer Madness”, “Lost Weekend” & “The Body Snatcher” doesn’t mean I’d like “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die”!

JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED “Ted Bundy Tapes”, “Making A Murderer” & “Why Did You Kill Me” doesn’t mean I’d like “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead”!

JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED “Ishtar, “Howard The Duck” & “Heaven’s Gate” doesn’t mean I’d like “CATS”!

JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED “The Two Popes”, “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” & “Freddy Got Fingered” doesn’t mean I’m dyin’ to be scolded by Facebook!

And, JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” – nah, I’m not goin’ there! ha ha But you get the idea.

But I will tell you what flicks I do like & some of my experiences related to my love of the Movies:

WHAT I LIKE IN THE BEDROOM:

“Sideways”

“The Three Amigos”*

& “Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice”

*Okay, Okay – Two Amigos! Geez!

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE AT MY AGE TO GO ON A DATE:

“Groundhog Day”

“Shut Up & Dribble”

And, “Dirty Grandpa”

WHAT GUYS TOLD ME ON DATES:

“Get Out”!

“The Good, The Bad & The Ugly”

And, “Keep The Change”!

WHAT I’VE TOLD GUYS ON DATES:

“For A Few Dollars More”

“While You Were Sleeping”

And, “This Is A Robbery”!

If I don’t hear back from you or… I get enough Hits – I’ll write a 2nd Letter! ha ha

Satirically Yours,
Marilyn Sands

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha