Exposing Yourself: Breath of Fresh Air - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

Exposing yourself by taking your mask off for the very first time is traumatic!

I always loved comic Johnny Carson‘s great joke: “Last night it was so cold…the Flashers in New York were only describing themselves”!

Well, it feels just like that when the CDC announced that the Covid fully vaccinated can now shed their face coverings indoors & out!

‘Going Commando’ is indeed ‘Freedom’ – but it occurred to me that exposing yourself by showing your face for the first time may cause more angst than expected.

As the great Roberta Flack sang in her 1972 Hit Song – “First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” – it can definitely bring opposing emotions like glee, fright & foreboding to those still clinging to their face masks:

A guy may reveal his new straggly beard & pimple on his nose – while a gal will…yikes, need excavation!

Ladies, don’t be alarmed if men 1) Turn away 2) Laugh 3) Run!

Don’t worry! If they did those things before Covid, there won’t be any adjustments. But, if you got a year older & admit it (silly girl) – you have to grab your retirement money & blitz the Cosmetics Aisle at Walmart!

DO NOT get a facelift or assume a new identity & why should you – the guys probably will have kept the beard & grew fond of the pimple!

GUYS – here’s 3 reasons why you may not want to let go of your masks:

1. At a noisy Bar, you can try out a corny line & the gal on the stool won’t know which guy said it!

2. You can mumble “I love you” to a gal & she can never prove you really said it!

Or 3. You can always say, “I’m wearing Protection”!

Warning: You may have to prove it was just a joke!

And, GALS – here’s 3 reasons why we may not want to let go of our masks:

1) Survey Says: Wearing one guarantees Harassing Construction Workers will never whistle or make Neanderthal smooching sounds to you!

2. “I want you to love me for me – not my braided eyebrows, porcelain veneers & Botoxed lips”!

Or 3. The thought of robbing a bank is exciting!

“Perp slipped me a note wearing a mask, asked for Penny Wrappers & wore a fake Pregnant Belly”!

But enough about me!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha