golfing with Elise Stephanik

Elise Stephanik

Young GOP upstart from New Yorkā€™s 21st District, graduated from Harvard, Elise now fully understands – she never had to be any smarter than Marjorie Taylor Green to climb to the top of ā€œthisā€ Republican dung heap.

Rubbing elbows with Devin Nunes and Mitch McConnell didnā€™t take brains, just a willingness to stab people in the back.

All that time at Harvard- enduring frat party crap- what a waste of time.

My parents own a Lumber company, after high school they could have dropped me off at Congress ā€¦ If I kicked the chair out from under Liz Cheney- victory would have been MINEā€¦ years ago.

Fake the polite, bid my time, then- WHAMMO. Bury a battle axe and smile for the camera.
Send flowers, La-t-Da- and off we go- to Mar-A-Lago!

All I do is- kneel before Emperor Donald- tell him he is Hollywood handsome-STILL President- (pro level golfer) ā€¦ the world is flat- Easy sleasy.

As a MAGA bonus Iā€™m including- renouncing Truth, Justice, the American Way, Christian faith and some corny Oath to a Constitutional thingy.

Whateva.

GOP Wieners like me- use Trumpā€™s GOLFING playbook, LIE, CHEAT (and) STEAL, then suddenly everyone wants to wash your balls!

One less thing to worry about- I donā€™t even play golf!

You say Tomato and I say-it wasnā€™t an insurrection, you say PO-ta-To- I say put those losers on hold, Iā€™mā€¦ sharpen my nails, practicing my swing, ready for the next clubbing.

John V Thomas
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