The Gates' Mating Call for Suitors, Part 2 - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

Listen in as Bill & Melinda Gates split heirs with their mating call for new suitors.

At home with Bill & Melinda, comprising their mating call for new suitors, part 2.

MELINDA

Who’s gonna get the Bathing Suits in the closet sizes 2, 4, 6 & 8?

BILL

You can keep the one that fits, ok?

MELINDA

None of them fit – but that’s the point, isn’t it?

BILL

Don’t get me wrong – I like meat on the bone too – ‘Variety is the…

MELINDA

Oh yeah, Mr. Adonis…

BILL

I’ve been workin’ out – check out my big guns!

MELINDA

Wrap ’em with Benjamin’s & you’re still ‘Nerdy Bill’!

BILL

Names will never hurt me – I’m rich!

MELINDA

Wait a minute – they still have the price tags on!

BILL

There you go – no harm, no foul!

MELINDA

I didn’t just fall off a ‘Best Buy’ truck! There were very young, very thin women here – clothed or unclothed!

BILL

I think we should get back to carving up yours, yours, yours & mine!

BILL

You’re just making Marilyn Sands work for it, right?

MELINDA

Well, yeah…how about this Lifeguard’s Whistle?

BILL

There wasn’t that many pool parties!

MELINDA

Well, all that splashin’ – I couldn’t sleep!

BILL

Well, you’re gonna sleep fine soon – 1/2 of 134 Billion.

MELINDA

And 63 cents!

BILL

I wish I had Trump’s Accountant!

MELINDA

Why?

BILL

3 Sets of Books!

MELINDA

All I ever wanted was love… but sign here & initial there & there!

MELINDA

Oh, Epstein called.

BILL

Jeff – he’s dead.

MELINDA

When did you know that, Bill?

BILL

Same as you?

BILL

Don’t believe everything you read in the papers.

MELINDA

Are you kidding me – I told them!

If you want to help – follow the money!

BILL

I…I…can’ttt!

MELINDA

Poor baby – your Abacus broke?

BILL

I don’t care if it was a suicide or not…but I left my frigin’ fingerprints in his house!

MELINDA

You’re in bigger trouble than I thought – you can have the 63 cents!

BILL

If Marilyn Sands doesn’t find a punch line soon – we’re gonna go into Humor Times overtime!

MELINDA

Well, maybe this’ll shut her up…

Since Covid, she can’t fit into those Swimsuits either!

For more laughs check out Part 1 here!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha