Fly on the Wall: Jiminy Cicadas Overseas - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

You’ve heard of a ‘Fly on the Wall’ – well, Jimmy Cicadas went 1st Class in President Biden’s pocket on his 1st Overseas trip (Part 2).

Now back from his trip & free from the ravages of jet lag, Biden recalls his last moments with his stowaway, who relished his “fly on the wall” roll.

He snickers to himself as he remembers the sign over the English Channel:

CICADAS…Don’t Come, Don’t Come!

As Biden was packing for the last leg of his trip, Jiminy Cicadas emerged from his suit pocket with cookie crumbs around his mouth.

BIDEN

I knew I had a hitchhiker! Have you been in my jacket the whole trip?

JIMINY

Nyet.

BIDEN

You speak Russian?

JIMINY

Si.

BIDEN

Oh, bi.

JIMINY

I don’t know, it’s my first mating season.

BIDEN

I mean, how come you speak all these…

JIMINY

C.I.A. Cicadas Investigation Association. A Bombardier – Cacaphony Division!

BIDEN

Don’t you mean Cacophony?

JIMINY

Not the way I do it!

BIDEN

And, you came along to help me with Putin or to help Putin?

JIMINY (tormented)

So many questions – I’m so new!

BIDEN

Here’s the deal. When we get to Brussels you get in Putin’s pocket & let me know what he says to his Comrades.

JIMINY

Can I buzz around his Babka?

BIDEN

No – in his pocket!

JIMINY

If only I had a cell phone – I could tell you, then buzz around his Babka…I’VE HAD ONE FRIGIN’ COOKIE & LINT!

You know I could switch sides just like that!

BIDEN

I’m counting on it! But, as ‘the other Jiminy’ in Pinocchio said so well, “Always let your conscience be your guide”!

Now, do you understand what’s at stake?

JIMINY

Yes, I won’t cause any international incidents & you won’t make any gaffes.

BIDEN

When I became President I became a new man…if I can just remember not to curtsy & ask what’s in the Queen’s purse!

JIMINY

A Rock is what’s in her purse! She swatted me when the cameras were off us!

BIDEN

Let’s go to bed – tomorrow’s the big day. What are you doing?

JIMINY

Writing my To-do List. Wash behind my wings. Floss. Shave my legs.

BIDEN

You’re not gonna see another Cicada – it’s Putin!

JIMINY

You’re right – for that I beach my tail hairs.

BIDEN

How do you… you know – concentrate on your work knowing it’s mating season?

JIMINY

Well, they say if we cross our legs – we can always get over the 17 Year Itch!

** Check out Part 1 of the Series right here.

And, look for Part 3 – the Finale! Coming Soon!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha