There’s good news. There’s bad news. Santa is vaccinated – that’s the good news. The elves are not – that’s the bad news. Well, not according to the little heroic helpers.
“We live at the North Pole! We are a low-risk population,” asserted the head elf. The generally holly-jolly bunch of busy red and green bees expressed frustration at Santa for mandating COVID-19 vaccines. “We refuse the joke poke!”
“Elves are immortal and never age,” grumbled the group. “And we never get sick. We want an exemption.”
Without a union to advocate their grievances, the head elf wrote a not so merry manifesto to Santa Claus:
“We the Elves of the North Pole, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United Toy Makers of the North Pole.”
Santa’s elves refused to make toys, candy canes, and holiday cookies. They knew the children would be sad, but nary a one voted to accept the Fauci Ouchy. “We work for Santa, not Fauci.”
Mrs. Claus and the reindeer joined with the elves. “We will not take the shot!” chanted the Elf on the Shelf. Rudolph blinked his red nose. Frosty the Snowman took off his magic hat. The peaceful demonstration lasted from sunrise to sunset until finally…
Santa speed dialed Joe Biden. “My elves demand a vaccine exemption or no Christmas for the boys and girls.”
Old Sleepy Joe, thought and he thought. He took a nap. Then thought some more. “Why for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now! I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?” Oh, that wasn’t Joe Biden – that was the Grinch who stole Christmas.
Long story short, Kamala Harris said she has never visited the North Pole or Europe. So Joe changed the rules and granted an exemption for the elves. By golly, the happy holiday was saved.
“And what happened then? Well, in D.C., they say that Joe’s small heart grew three sizes that day!” That’s the only part of the story that’s not true.
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Signed: Mel Martin