An excerpt from “Oh Daddy Chronicles” by Barry Robbins: A Perfect Call.
Episode XIV – A Perfect Call
(A young staffer from the National Security Council wishes to see President Trump.)
“Come in, son. What is it?”
“Excuse me, Mr. President, but a question has come up at the NSC that only you can clarify.”
“Well, I’m used to being the only person that can solve problems, so come in and have a seat. And relax, there’s no need to be nervous. What’s your name?”
“Fu On Yu.”
“Say that again?”
“Fu On Yu, sir.”
“Now, wait just a moment. I said you could relax, not insult me.”
“No, sir. I am not insulting you. That is my name – Fu On Yu.”
“Well, I’ll be. I don’t remember seeing you earlier today. This is the second shift of the day, right? So you work the second shift?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Well then, who has the first shift?”
“Correct, sir.”
“What?”
“He has standby duty.”
“Who?”
“First shift, sir.”
“Who?”
“Right. Who has first shift, sir.”
“Why are you asking me? I don’t know the NSC staffers.”
“I’m not asking you, sir. I’m telling you. Who has the first shift.”
“OK. So who has the first shift and what is on standby.”
“You’re getting it, sir.”
“And the name of the person who has night duty?”
“I Don’t Know.”
“Is that because you’re new to the job?”
“No, sir. We are trained to know everyone’s name from the very beginning.”
“Then who has night duty?”
“No, sir. I Don’t Know.”
“Well, I sure as hell don’t either. Remind me, did you tell me why you need to see me?”
“Not yet sir. But it wasn’t all that important anyway. It had to do with the phone call you had with Chinese President Xi yesterday.”
“It was a perfect call. Nothing to discuss. Do you have a background in Chinese affairs, young man?”
“I have a Ph.D. in Chinese history, focusing on the leadership succession in the Chinese Communist Party. And I speak fluent Mandarin and Cantonese.”
“Huh. Then if you’re such a smarty pants, tell me who was the President of China before President Xi.”
“Correct, sir. Hu.”
“No, I’m asking you. I want to know.”
“Hu was the previous President of China.”
“I told you I don’t know! Let me try it a different way. Tell me the latest transition of power in China.”
“Hu Xi, sir. Hu Xi.”
“How the hell do I know who she is? The next president of China is going to be a woman? Really?”
“I doubt it, sir. Very unlikely. But not impossible. Best woman candidate is Nu Lian-Dong Yu. Then it would be Hu Xi Nu.”
“Isn’t that always the case.”
“We’ve had a very interesting conversation, sir. Anything else?”
“I would like to know what we’re talking about and who sent you.”
“Shall we call them, sir?”
“No. I have a headache.”
“Well then, I’ll call it a night, sir. If you need any further help this evening from the NSC, just pick up the phone and ask for What I Don’t Know.
“Me neither.”
(Fu On Yu leaves the Oval Office while the President just shakes his head.)
Excerpted from Oh Daddy Chronicles by Barry Robbins, available now on Amazon.
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