Biden: Reasons to Send Troops to the Ukraine

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

Pressed on the issue, the president listed many good reasons for sending American combat troops to the Ukraine.

SNN Washington based correspondent Kaye Passa Baybay caught up with President Biden at a recent pre-blizzard lawn tennis event and posed the question, “Why are you committing American combat troops to the Ukraine?”

He gave her a plethora of reasons, including:

1. We need another Vietnam

2. The Ukraine is the only place in the world to get Ukrainian borscht

3. We need another Iraq

4. War is always good for the economy

5. To protect the world supply of Khor vodka

6. We need another Afghanistan

7. We need 100,000 Ukrainian refugees to relocate to Kalamazoo, Michigan

8. Today Ukraine, tomorrow Schnotzelvakia, if the Russians aren’t stopped

9. To protect the world supply of rare Sea of Azov Schnoodles

10. To show the Taliban we baaaaad

11. Putin is unvaccinated

12. To hear my name on the Fox News Channel!

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.