Very First Academy Awards, Bible Missed - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

The First Academy Awards started the soon-to-be dying art of accepting a shiny Graven Image among your jealous peers!

First Academy Awards Presenter: EVE
Voters: ADAM & EVE

1. BEST COSTUME DESIGN – Adam

2. BEST COSTUME DESIGN TWEAKER – Eve

3. BEST SOUND EFFECTS – Adam (& no Dog to blame)

4. BEST ADAPTED STORY – Adam & Eve & Steve

5. BEST DISTANCE URINATOR – Adam

6. BEST ENTANGLEMENT – The Snake & Adam

7. BEST HUNTER & GATHERER – Adam (except when he forgot the Milk)

8. BEST MAKE-OUT LOCATION – Bushes

9. BEST APPLE PEELER – Adam (and, in one peel)

10. BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS – Moon & Stars

11. BEST MAKE-UP & HAIRSTYLING – Sun & Wind!

12. BEST LOVER – It’s a tie! Adam with a mustache & Adam without!

13. BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY – Ask G-d!

14. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD – To be Continued!

And the 1st Slap heard ’round the world was Adam spanking Eve’s butt accepting his trophies & immediately banned from attending for 10 years!

And, Biblical years can be rough!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha