Trump Passes Audition, Set to Appear on Dancing with the Stars
After Pennsylvania dance fest, Trump qualifies to star in Dancing with the Stars: “I’m the best dancer.” Preparing for a new career if he loses the election in … Read more
Dave Henry
Lazy Americans Feel Left Out of Political Process
“We’re people too!” exclaim lazy Americans. Politicians often talk about the need to create jobs or lower taxes for hardworking Americans, but what about Lazy Americans? Don’t they … Read more
Article Shows Dumb Side of Story to Be Fair to Stupid People
Local reporter tries to be fair to all the stupid people who read and comment on his stories. To be fair and objective to all the morons and … Read more
Biden Nominates First Baby to Supreme Court
Lil Tommy is the first baby nominated to the Supreme Court, a “security blanket” for liberals on the bench. With sensitive man-baby Clarence Thomas planning to leave the … Read more
New Poll of Lonely Shut-ins with Landlines Who Answer Phones Shows Trump with Slight Lead
Polls consistently show slight lead for former prez: “We love those patriots who still use landlines, don’t we?” said Trump. A new poll from Ipsos Facto Reuters shows … Read more
New Rule: NFL Referees to Decide Trump Appeals
Democrats introduce legislation requiring Trump appeals to be decided immediately by NFL referees in replay booth reviews. Frustrated by the time it takes for Appeals Courts to decide simple, … Read more
Trump: Hydroxychloroquine Makes Me Immune from Prosecution
Trump remains adamant that he is immune from prosecution. Former President Donald Trump has been adamant that he is immune from prosecution and has now taken his case … Read more
Actual Goat Steps Down as Patriots Coach
New England Patriots coach, called “The GOAT,” announces he is stepping down after a Hall of Fame career. The New England Patriots coach who is widely considered the … Read more
Harvard to Offer Degree in Pirating and Plundering
Harvard says it’s simply adapting with the times and preparing “for the end of America as we know it.” In an effort to adapt with the times and … Read more
GOP Hopefuls Look to Get Indicted to Gain Ground on Trump
The remaining Republican presidential candidates are launching a new strategy — get indicted. Faced with trying to close a huge gap between themselves and Donald Trump, the remaining Republican … Read more
