Superman Gives Up on Earth, Plans to Return to Krypton
“Let’s face it, you guys are fucked,” Superman tells Rachel Maddow in final TV interview. METROPOLIS, OL – World-renowned crime fighter and iconic symbol of Truth, Justice and … Read more
“Let’s face it, you guys are fucked,” Superman tells Rachel Maddow in final TV interview. METROPOLIS, OL – World-renowned crime fighter and iconic symbol of Truth, Justice and … Read more
‘The racism is so bad, we should just let those miserable bastards go, and we can unite with Canada’ – Abraham Lincoln HEAVEN’S GATE – The ghost of … Read more
“I will drive out mine enemies with the jaw bone of an ass!” Tom Cotton whinnies on national TV. WASHINGTON, DC – Inspired by Bruce Jenner’s recent transgender … Read more
‘We’ll see Hillary’s $2.5B and raise it $5B,” Charles Koch laughed, opening his small-change purse. WASHINGTON, DC – Hillary Clinton’s recent vow to raise $2.5B in campaign funds … Read more
“Send us your cash donations!” say hundreds of pizzeria operators, eager to profit from the generosity of gay-haters everywhere. WALKERTON, IN — Pizza stores in the U.S. are … Read more
Move follows Indiana and Arkansas ‘Right to Discriminate’ anti-gay ‘religious freedom’ legislation. MOSUL, IRAQ – Knife-wielding ISIS spokesman Jihadi John announced today that his organization and Nigeria’s Boku … Read more
‘Cops gunning Blacks down in the street made us so nostalgic for Dr Verwoerd,’ say apartheid lovers. Tucson, AZ — Following the recent wave of police killings in … Read more
Ted Cruz candidacy ‘a Miracle,’ say Tea Party activists Washington, DC — Following reports earlier today that Pope Francis had performed a “miracle” by turning an amulet of … Read more
‘Some people don’t like to wear things on their wrists’ – Apple CEO Tim Cook CUPERTINO, CA — Following the recent announcement of its new “Dick Tracy”-style wrist … Read more
‘ISIS is even lower than Hitler and Stalin’ says Beelzebub, in unprecedented move HADES – The Satanic Council announced today that a new and unimaginably horrific Tenth Level … Read more