Statewide Manhunt for Missing Parakeet Continues in Michigan
A manhunt, or more accurately, birdhunt, has been launched in Michigan this week for a missing parakeet. A statewide manhunt for a missing parakeet continues in Michigan this … Read more
Hala Dika
Biden’s ‘War on COVID’ Could Involve Tiny Soldiers
The “War on COVID,” as opposed to simply resisting it, has been officially launched, and could involve tiny soldiers. President Joe Biden declared a “War on COVID” earlier … Read more
Review: Heavenly New Year Concert
God knows how to celebrate, and always puts on a “Heavenly New Year Concert” to top all the shows from past millennia. I was recently invited to heaven … Read more
Pigeons Talk Shit
A zoologist has deciphered what pigeons are saying, and it turns out a lot of their discussion is about targeting humans. Have you ever wondered what pigeons looking … Read more
Coffee Shortage Sparks Nationwide Panic
A global coffee shortage has sparked a panic this week among those who are dependent on their morning lift. A coffee shortage has sparked a nationwide panic this … Read more
Man Who Cut Down Tree to Avoid Raking Leaves Eaten Alive by Disgruntled Squirrels
Lesson learned postmortem: there’s no way to avoid raking leaves. A man in suburban Detroit who cut down his tree to avoid raking leaves was found eaten alive … Read more
Automatic Checkout Machines Form Union
Automatic checkout machines across the country have gone on strike, in protest of eighteen-hour days and no pay. Automatic checkout machines across the country went on strike today, … Read more
