Howard Zaharoff

Howard Zaharoff reads (a lot), writes (mostly humor), teaches (occasionally) and practices law (doesn't everyone?). He is the author of "Stump Your Lawyer!" (Chronicle 2007), and his work has appeared in The Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, Amazing Stories, Computerworld, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, The Annals of Improbable Research and the books Growing Up Jewish (Penguin 1987) and Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and Further Improbabilities) (Workman 1993), among other places.

My Interview With Isaac Asimov (a Memoir)

By Howard Zaharoff, May 4, 2024May 3, 2024

My Interview With Isaac Asimov (a Memoir)

When I learned that THE Isaac Asimov was coming to Baltimore, I immediately began plotting how to attend. Imagine being a science fiction reader and having a once-in-a-lifetime … Read more

Excerpts from Santa’s Tell-All Interview

By Howard Zaharoff, December 26, 2023

Excerpts from Santa’s Tell-All Interview

Santa reveals his true personality in a series of no-holds-barred tell-all interviews. Interviewer’s Note: As another Christmas has passed, I’d like to share some highlights from my private … Read more

New ‘Reveal Parties’ Herald an Explosion of Revelations

By Howard Zaharoff, July 11, 2023July 17, 2023

New ‘Reveal Parties’ Herald an Explosion of Revelations

We Americans are a party people, so Gender Reveal Parties are only the tip of the Reveal Party iceberg. “The moment you learn the sex of your baby … Read more

A Powerhouse of Dragon Rings

By Howard Zaharoff, November 3, 2022November 23, 2022

A Powerhouse of Dragon Rings

Streaming “House of the Dragon” and “The Rings of Power” simultaneously causes confusion for this viewer. I am streaming “House of the Dragon” and “The Rings of Power” … Read more

Neuroses of a Homebound Traveler

By Howard Zaharoff, August 21, 2022August 19, 2022

Neuroses of a Homebound Traveler

Trying to get a handle on the many odd neuroses and anxieties that may pop up when traveling post-pandemic. As we slowly emerge from COVID-quarantine, it’s time for … Read more

New Measurements That Beat the ‘Speed of Light’

By Howard Zaharoff, December 25, 2021December 25, 2021

New Measurements That Beat the ‘Speed of Light’

The speed of light may be a handy unit for scientists, but we lay folk need some helpful new measures for daily use. Since nothing moves as fast … Read more

Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President

By Howard Zaharoff, July 6, 2021July 6, 2021

Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President

The former prez wants back in the White House. So, for his edification, we present the Top 10 Ways to Reinstate a President, as drafted by the always-reliable … Read more

The Walt Disney World Anniversary Ha! Gotcha! Haggadah

By Howard Zaharoff, March 29, 2021

The Walt Disney World Anniversary Ha! Gotcha! Haggadah

For a Passover Seder as Sweet as Uncle Walt … and Twice as Jewish! A special Passover Haggadah. To mark the 50th anniversary of Walt Disney World, we … Read more

Things I Haven’t Yet Heard Described as “On Steroids” (and I’d Rather Not)

By Howard Zaharoff, February 6, 2021February 6, 2021

Things I Haven’t Yet Heard Described as “On Steroids” (and I’d Rather Not)

Any idiom on this list has run its course and should be “put out to pasture.” The idiom “on steroids” — as in “COVID is like the flu, … Read more

A Murder of Crows, Etc.

By Howard Zaharoff, January 23, 2021July 21, 2023

A Murder of Crows, Etc.

Animal groups get names like “murder of crows” — what if we did the same for humans? Animal groups often receive exotic names, such as a pride of … Read more