Howard Zaharoff

Howard Zaharoff reads (a lot), writes (mostly humor), teaches (occasionally) and practices law (doesn't everyone?). He is the author of "Stump Your Lawyer!" (Chronicle 2007), and his work has appeared in The Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, Amazing Stories, Computerworld, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, The Annals of Improbable Research and the books Growing Up Jewish (Penguin 1987) and Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and Further Improbabilities) (Workman 1993), among other places.

Dear Anonymous Sender: Thank You for Your Holiday E-Card

By Howard Zaharoff, December 20, 2018December 21, 2018

Dear Anonymous Sender: Thank You for Your Holiday E-Card

Although I cannot recall where I may have met and exchanged business or V cards with you (or someone from your organization), I am extremely grateful for your … Read more

The Persons, Who Evade From Checking Procedure, Aren’t Supposed for Boarding!

By Howard Zaharoff, October 24, 2018October 24, 2018

The Persons, Who Evade From Checking Procedure, Aren’t Supposed for Boarding!

“The Persons, Who Evade From Checking Procedure, Aren’t Supposed for Boarding!” — Sign at Dnipropetrovsk International Airport (Ukraine) Welcome, boarding persons to Float Number 285, Ukraine Airlines. We … Read more

We Want Your House

By Howard Zaharoff, September 17, 2018July 22, 2022

We Want Your House

Hi! We love your house and want to be its next owners! We’re the couple that came in five minutes before your open house ended, trailing three adorable … Read more

Notes for the Fellow in the Next Stall

By Howard Zaharoff, June 18, 2018June 18, 2018

Notes for the Fellow in the Next Stall

Hey, guy in the next stall, get a clue! You can stop trying to hide your identity by tucking your shoes behind the bowl: I recognize your Stefano … Read more

New Passover Parody Songs

By Howard Zaharoff, March 25, 2018March 25, 2018

New Passover Parody Songs

Liven up your Passover Seder with these new Passover parody tunes! For any of you looking to liven up a Passover Seder with some new Passover parody songs, … Read more

Things I, Donald Trump, Would Do in Addition to Running Unarmed into a School

By Howard Zaharoff, March 5, 2018September 30, 2021

Things I, Donald Trump, Would Do in Addition to Running Unarmed into a School

In his own imagination: Donald Trump, superhero! Here, the president lists all the things he would do, if needed: Smash through any locked doors using my shoulders and … Read more

The Route Not Taken

By Howard Zaharoff, March 5, 2018July 22, 2022

The Route Not Taken

Two roads diverged on my Google Maps, And sorry I could not go where both led And drive one Tesla – lousy app! – I looked down one … Read more

Berlioz at Boston Symphony: Notes on the Notes on the Program

By Howard Zaharoff, January 17, 2018January 17, 2018

Berlioz at Boston Symphony: Notes on the Notes on the Program

Boston Symphony Orchestra, Week 15, 2016-17 Season: Hector Berlioz, Symphonie fantastique “Episode from the life of an artist,” Opus 14 Notes on the Notes on the Program Berlioz: … Read more

Observations on an Italian Summer Sojourn

By Howard Zaharoff, August 25, 2017August 26, 2017

Observations on an Italian Summer Sojourn

We survived our Italian summer – it was tough, but someone’s got to do it! It’s hard to learn even the most basic tourist phrases of another language … Read more

Politically Correct Motion Picture Ratings

By Howard Zaharoff, June 27, 2017March 19, 2019

Politically Correct Motion Picture Ratings

MPAA film rating system updated for an era of polarization and the politically correct. G – General Audiences. All politics accepted. Nothing too offensive to conservatives or liberals. … Read more