Romney Chooses Running Mate: ‘My Enforcer, Ted Nugent’
‘If they don’t like it, they can suck on this!’ said Nugent, holding his trademark machine gun Mitt Romney shocked political pundits everywhere when he named Ted Nugent … Read more
James Israel
Sacramento Kings Resolve Stiffens: Selling Naming Rights to Viagra
‘This should stimulate some action’ on the Sacramento Kings arena deal, say Maloofs Just one day after the long negotiations over a new arena for the Sacramento Kings … Read more
Fresh Off ‘Today Show’ Success, Sarah Palin Lobbies for ‘Tomorrow Show’ Gig
‘America is hungry for more, and, if selected, I promise to go at least half a season,’ says Palin Sarah Palin quieted the doubters on Tuesday, when she … Read more
Hoodies More Popular Than Ever: Neighborhood Watch Captains Miffed
As ‘Million Hoodie Marches’ morph into everyday fashion, racists at a loss as to who to hate, shoot It’s not just young hoodlums anymore, or joggers, or athletes … Read more
Airlines to Raise Rates, Citing Costs of Live In-Flight Pilot Freakouts
‘We’re doing all we can to keep passengers entertained,’ says Jet Blue CEO Airlines have hiked rates three times in recent months, and are contemplating more increases as … Read more
Flush With Victory in Primary, Joe the Plumber Promises ‘A Working Toilet in Every Home’
‘Every constituent will be familiar with my butt crack,’ cracks Joe Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known to most of America as “Joe the Plumber,” won a northeast Ohio Republican … Read more
Did This High School Student Really Find the Cure for Cancer? (Video)
Science-haters: Close your eyes and ears! This brilliant high school girl, way ahead of her age in science, may have found the cure for cancer. She discovered a way … Read more
America, Post-Football, Turns to Campaign for Violent Entertainment
Doctors warn of concussions suffered by repeated viewing of head-bashing campaign commercials There’s no more football, not for an excruciating six months. Not even a Pro Bowl, a … Read more
Gingrich Names Cain as Running Mate
After Cain endorsement, Newt has epiphany: “He’s so cool to pal around with, he understands me” Newt Gingrich named Herman Cain as his running mate, and more, in … Read more
Fighting the New War
Calling for a war of ideas, for the people and against the U.S. corporate takeover now in progress Well, we’ve finally ended one war (officially, at least). By … Read more
