Beyonce Loses Nail in China, Provides for Local Family for a Year
Beyonce Knowles’ small loss is village’s huge gain Megastar Beyonce Knowles stopped over in China last week after the completion of her Mrs. Carter tour in the hopes … Read more
Jeff Boldt
Scientists: Newton and Galileo Were Psychotic — Massive Textbook Recall Foreseen
“I’m no Einstein, but I know wacko when I see it,” says scientist of Einstein, Newton and Galileo. A group of 142 leading scientists and psychiatrists have published … Read more
Study: Reading Books Seriously Undermines Brain’s Ability to Enjoy TV
Casually reading books can lead to habitual reading, study warns. A new report was released by the Television Scientists of America last week. It shows the overlooked negative … Read more
The Rainbow Comes Out as Heterosexual
The rainbow, international symbol for their movement, shocks gay community In what is being hailed as the most highly viewed TV moment of all time, the Rainbow came … Read more
Cleveland Browns Suggest “Personal Best Bowl” Once in a While
Personal Best Bowl could be good for morale In a highly publicized press conference yesterday, Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam discussed his recent meeting with NFL commissioner Roger … Read more
North Korea Will Scrap Nukes on One Condition: “Give Us Flappy Bird”
Flappy Bird was “Supreme Commander’s favorite” In the middle of yesterday’s high-level talks between the two Koreas — a country at war with itself since the early 50s … Read more
Google CEO Apologizes for Inserting Creepy Subliminal Message into Search Engine
“I am grieved at my own sophomoric actions.” – Google’s Larry Page MOUNTAINVIEW, CA — Larry Page, co-founder and CEO of the mammoth search engine known to the … Read more
Millions of Americans Become ‘Nader-Haters’ Because it’s Fun to Say
‘Nader-Haters’ trend going viral with bored surfers Millions of Americans across the contiguous United States have recently jumped on the latest virtual bandwagon — hating presidential candidate Ralph … Read more
Breaking News: Research Shows Fingers All You Need to Type on Keyboard
No thought needed to produce breaking news stories The Institute of Neurological Research, located in Berkeley California, released a shocking new report on human brain function and development … Read more
Employee Misinterprets Company Email that Reads, “Bare with us this Casual Friday…”
A ‘Casual Friday’ gone wild The faithful workers at Syrius Enterprises & Technologies Incorporated had little reason to believe that last Friday would prove to be any different … Read more
