From the I Told You So Department
MAGA’ers getting close-up look at shitshow they put into office. What can I say, I told you so! What can I say, except “I told you so!” It … Read more
P. Beckert
Trump to Be Shot Out of a Cannon on Live TV
GOP candidate Donald Trump has planned a stunt to beat all stunts: he is to be shot out of a cannon on live television. Mar-a-Lago – Today Donald … Read more
Donald Trump Furious Over Force Feeding Him Country Music at Rallies
At one rally, Trump was seen holding his fingers in his ears and screaming “La la la, La la la, I’m not listening.”
Trump to Stage Death, Christ-Like Resurrection
Bannon didn’t think it would be much of a stretch to have the boss fake his own death and miraculously be resurrected three days later.
Donald Trump Found Playing with Toy Soldiers in the Situation Room
Toy soldiers were set up for the bored president, including one figurine with tears painted on its face to simulate al-Baghdadi. Rumors are floating around media circles that … Read more
Childhood Friend Pens Biography on Trump’s Early Years
Much like Jesus, Trump’s early years are a mystery. But the similarities stop there. Ever wonder what the President was like as a child? Much like Jesus, Trump’s … Read more
Scientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust
Which will spontaneously combust first, the world, the country or the president, is not yet known — but scientists urge caution in any case. Doctors across the country … Read more
Patient Treated for Mysterious Medical Condition Known Only as ‘EDXYZ’
He later required treatment for the medical condition caused by the first prescription. Erwin Drexell is ferclempt over what he calls the pharmaceutical industry’s attempt to make up … Read more
Bored Donald Trump Plans Orgy for West Wing
The West Wing needs some spicing up these days, Trump insists. The White House announced yesterday that the “you’re fired” bo$$, Donald J. Trump, was ranting about how … Read more
Pelosi Agrees to Trump’s Wall, On One Condition
“The Lego Solution” is something Nancy Pelosi agrees with. The U.S. government came to a grinding halt Saturday, and Washington, D.C. long-timer and incoming Speaker of the House … Read more
