Romney: Too Naïve to Survive Missouri Caucus?

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They’s lots more where these come from Willard

While Gov. Mitt Romney did everything he could to fit in with the locals in the Southern states of Alabama and Mississippi, he still ended up third at the polls behind Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich.
M…

Jeb Bush Lying in Wait Like a Florida Panther

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See Jeb? See Jeb Run? Run, Jeb, Run.
Rumors are still swirling that Jeb Bush is considering putting his name in the hat for the GOP nomination. But, if there is one thing you should know about the Bush family it is this, they don’t do anything with…

Rick Santorum Concedes Snooki Pregnancy Good Argument for Contraceptives

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I’m glad you thought of the hot tub, Mike. I can’t believe
I’ve gone through all my free condoms already.

Snooki, of Jersey Shore fame, has admitted to being pregnant with her boyfriend, Jionni LaValle, as the father. Shore roommate, Mike “Th…

Meek Taking Early Inheritance of Earth and Evicting All Sinners

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The Meek, who are mentioned a couple of times in the Bible as the heirs to Earth*, have finally had enough of their un-meek counterparts, i.e. the Sinners and are taking steps as we speak to ask God for an early release of their inheritance.
“Mo…

Glenn Beck Comes to the Aid of Rush Limbaugh

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You Can’t Spew Hatred Without
Awesome Props!

Former Fox News Channel host Glenn Beck knows what it is to fall like a boulder from grace for simply uttering his personal opinions about someone. Getting canned from a gravy job with Fox News Channel wa…

Chris Hansen Becomes Possessed During Taping of Hansen Files: “Exorcisms Real or Hoax?”

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Hey, isn’t that Chris Hansen over there?

It has just been reported that Chris Hansen, the man behind the news show Hansen Files seen Friday evenings on Dateline NBC is, most likely, possessed by the devil, who priests say entered his body during the…

Acme Limburger Cheese Company Pulls Advertising Due to Stink on Rush Limbaugh Show

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“If anyone knows stinky, it is the Acme Limburger Cheese Company,” said Hugh Steenck, Vice President in charge of marketing. “As of today, this company will no longer pay to advertise on the Rush Limbaugh Show,”  announced the VP on the Su…

Rush Limbaugh’s Head May Be Stuck Up His Ass Permanently

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Rush Limbaugh was trying to find a hole in the ground when he accidentally stuck his head up his ass. He was rushed to Good Samaritan Medical Center in West Palm Beach where doctors were working to dislodge said head from said ass.
At last report, seve…

Mitt Romney Sings “Sexy and I Know It” in Shower

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Hey, throw me the Head & Shoulders, will ya?
A Mitt Romney aid has just leaked some interesting news about the presidential candidate. Seems Mr. Romney’s favorite song while showering in the campaign bus these days is “Sexy and I Know It,” …

News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive Turning Women Into Santorum Supporters

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The news out of Michigan this morning is that not all women in America are angry at Santorum financial backer, Foster Friess for stating that a safe and effective form of birth control for women is a simple aspirin placed between the knees.
Women were …

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