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FACE HUMP CITY, NORTH CAROLINA

FACE HUMP CITY, NORTH CAROLINA

[Sung to the tune of “Paradise City” by Guns N’ Roses, released in 1987.]
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Take me down to the Face Hump City
Where Republicans are red
And the boys are pretty
Oh, won’t you please take me home?
Take me down to the Face Hump City
Madison Cawthorn naked in bed
And the boys are pretty
Oh, won’t you please let me bone?

Just a congressman living on K Street
I’m a nut case who’s easy to beat
I’m your perverted conservative
So I’ll give you some man meat
Don’t open your innocent eyes
Because I’m a really, really gay guy

Rednecks to riches or so they say
You gotta keep face humping
For the fortune and fame
You know it’s all in shambles
When it’s just insane
You treat it like a capital crime
Everybody, it’s face humping time

Take me down to the Face Hump City
Where Republicans are red
And the boys are pretty
Oh, won’t you please take me home?
Take me down to the Face Hump City
Madison Cawthorn’s career is dead
And the boys are pretty
Let me bone

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Jake Pickering
Arcata, CA, USA

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FERNDALE’S LUTHERAN CHARLATAN

FERNDALE’S LUTHERAN CHARLATAN

https://www.salon.com/2022/04/08/hiding-in-plain-sight-how-donald-became-the-most-powerful-religious-leader-on-the-right/

Right-wing racist Reverend Bramwell
Doesn’t believe that Black lives matter,
Because Rev. Tyrel Bramwell is a bigot.
St. Mark’s Lutheran Church in Ferndale
Should ask that embarrassment to quit.
Christianity is on the decline in America
And has been ever since Sept. 11, 2001.
Fake “Christians” defame Jesus’ name
By revering Trump who is totally insane.
In 2011, 75% were Christian in the U.S.,
But as of 2021, it dropped to only 62%.
All the fault of GOP charlatans who lie,
Like this Ferndale Republican guy Tyrel
Who is on the highway straight to Hell.
Jesus, please save us from your flock!
They worship a golden calf named Don!
What we need now is that old gray Jew
Moses to do what he’s known to do –
Smash God’s stone tablets to bits and
Command the GOP heretics to stop it!
Merging right-wing politics and religion
Is what killed 3,000 Americans on 9/11.
And, oh yeah, in case you were unaware,
Jesus had kinky hair like wool according
To Revelations 1:13-15, and his feet were
Like burnished bronze. He wasn’t Aryan!
Jesus Christ spent half his life in Africa.
Jesus was Black, y’all. No protestations.
BLACK LIVES MATTER! Oh yes they do…
Tell Tyrel Bramwell Jesus was also a Jew.
After which, Ferndale’s racist racketeer
Will go on GOP radio to hate on queers.
Whatever Tyrel Bramwell is preaching
Has nothing at all to do with Christianity.
Bramwell is a disgrace to his seminary.

https://lostcoastoutpost.com/2022/feb/21/ferndale-pastor-calls-black-lives-matter-evil-says/

Jake Pickering
Arcata, CA, USA

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EVERY SPERM IS SACRED

EVERY SPERM IS SACRED

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Imagine if you heard this on the news:
Five Supreme Court Justices just ruled
Viagra is illegal and against God’s will.
Old men shouldn’t defy God with a pill.
Accept God’s plan for your soft schlong.
God does not want geezers to get it on.
To Hell with science, do as you are told!
Pederast priests want kids to bend over.
No abortion means no boner pills either!
“Be Best”, Melania Trump, you skeezer.
Perverted conservatives, horny & mean –
Donald Trump’s mushroom shaped thing.
Melania says “Don’t Cry For Me, Slovenia”.
It’s why disgusting Donald grabs vaginas.
Republicans are pro-cocaine orgy liars!
Madison Cawthorn humped a guy’s face.
Buck naked in bed, skull f**king his head,
Cawthorn & his cousin committed incest.
Hey GOP Greedy Old Perverts, “Be Best!”

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/5/6/2096259/-BREAKING-Video-of-Madison-Cawthorn-Apparently-Face-F-king-His-Cousin-Surfaces-Really-Yes-Really

Jake Pickering
Arcata, CA, USA

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MANsplaining Women

Federalist Society/ Women haters.

White, ultra-Christian conservatives creep out of dark ages and closets to- lie, cheat, and steal- legitimate constitutional rulings, all in broad daylight.

Our Constitution isn’t that complicated- (unless you are a member of the “Federalist Society”)- WHO relentlessly invent restrictions on freedom, voting and equality.

Many deem themselves “ORIGINALISTS”.

If “Originalists” adhered to these indefensible beliefs- OUR original Constitutional is simply a Biblical stone tablet- handed down from Moses… (I mean OUR FOUNDING FATHERS)- there wouldn’t be a single black faces or women on a court.

Weaponizing “Federalist STUPIDITY” Landowners may now resume branding slaves, burning witches and killing what’s left of native Americans.

Notice “Originalists” never mention OUR FOUNDING MOTHERS- (women legally- don’t really exist).

A (backwards leaning twister game) Originalists decisively bend towards wealthy, privileged, elitist legislation…

Thanks! …………………………………………………………religious, Taliban, GOP, mafia!

Modern day update- change OWNERS to “CORPORATIONS”. (Thine servitude-Twas ever Thus!)

Originalists “flex like gumby” IF it involves “corporate money”- yet curiously… shrink into ridged toadstools if legal protections involve- women’s rights, human rights or voting transparency.

For decades- Originalists think tanks condescendingly pontificate-

(mansplaining)-

defective, antiquated, electoral voting and why “average citizens” need buggies, a horse named glue and painful crooked stools.

Equal rights and pay? – that’s LIBERAL “scary science fiction shit Bro”-like electric cars or the freedom to marry who you want.

“One person- one vote” – way too much TRUTH, JUSTICE and LOGIC for Originalist omnipotence.

Alito’s “originalist” HACK Supreme Court just decreed- their Church is NOW- your State.

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MICKEY MOUSE SHOULD FLEE FLORIDA

MICKEY MOUSE SHOULD FLEE FLORIDA

“I love the Bay just like I love L.A.”
— Snoop Dogg (from Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” released in 2010)

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June 2022 is going to be must-watch TV for all patriotic, anti-Putin Americans. At this point, there should be no question about it whatsoever, but in case you still had any doubts at all about deranged, demonic Donald Trump’s terrible, treasonous and terroristic transgressions against our democratic republic, stay tuned to your TV sets starting June 9, 2022. Expect Ted Cruz (R-TX) to attempt to flee to Cancun again for a summer vacation. Hasta la vista, racist baby!
Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, the delusional dimwit who actually believes America wants its next president to be a book-burning fascist who is so weak and wimpy that he’s terrified of transsexuals, won the governorship in 2018 by only 30,000 votes. The Disney Corporation employs 80,000 Floridians. You do the math! Best of luck running for president in 2024, Ron the con, after Florida votes you out in 2022.
And by the way, current Florida racist Republican resident and failed fascist Fuhrer Donald Trump is 100% guilty of not only treason but pandemicide! Strap Trump the traitor into Florida’s electric chair Old Sparky and fry that Leningrad liar until all that’s left is a burnt pile of blubbery grisly goo! (As opposed to the blubbering pile of Greedy Old Perverted G.O.P. goo that Trump was in life.)
If any state should be known as “the free state” in this “United” States of America, it is my home state of California. After all, one out of every eight Americans is a California resident for a reason! (A multitude of reasons, really.) An idea whose time has come that is worthy of the Golden State and its internationally successful CA-born Disney Corporation is DISNEY WORLD BAY AREA. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/04/22/disney-world-should-leave-florida-desantis/
If necessary, the California crew of Mouseketeers will move every last piece of Disney World (including Epcot Center) back home from Orlando to California in the dead of night, just like the Mayflower movers surreptitiously relocated the NFL’s Colts franchise from Baltimore to Indianapolis back in 1984. Except no one will feel sorry for FL.
Gov. DeSantis (R-FL) is a disgrace! If you keep Ron DeathSantis in office, Florida, we Californians will be taking Disney back ASAP. Just saying. You don’t have to like it. We’ll do it anyways. Or if not California, there’s always the possibility of getting Mickey Mouse mountain high in Colorado! John Denver (R.I.P.) would no doubt approve were he alive. https://www.newsweek.com/colorado-invites-disney-move-amid-desantis-attacks-1699450
Diminutive dolt Ron DeSatanist (R-FL) says to anyone who will listen that he is no fan of democracy. No, Ron the con is a classic crackpot Castro Cuban conservative. Just put a fake beard on his fascist face, a stogy between his lying lips, and some fatigues on his five-foot frame and Gov. DeSantis would look – and act – just like a mini-Fidel Castro.

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Jake Pickering
Arcata, CA, USA

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