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Putin’s WIFE

Putin’s Wife

Melania’s one of Putin’s many discarded mistresses- she helped Don steal boxes of top-secret documents, hid them at Mar-A-Lago, sold it to the KGB.

Melania has stood by Trump, pilfered credibility and crated anything she could steal- all the while -acting and speaking like Natasha- (spy wife of Boris) on the Bullwinkle moose cartoon.

Mainstream media never “delved into” con artist, former prostitute, FAKE wife of traitor Trump.

Melania started by plagiarizing Michele Obama, wore incorrectly spelled statements (on taxpayers’ dime) scrawled “I really don’t care …do U?” then wrapped it all up… selling hats and underwear for crypto.

The last Plane to Putinville is grounded- TIME TO swim back to Russia on your MAGA white whale lady.

Have you heard ONE WORD out of her crooked mouth condemning this Ukraine invasion?

45 CRICKETS.

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Our (Inter)National Anathema

With the upcoming major league baseball season soon to be cancelled for lack of interest,
a team of international bankers and businessmen has stepped in to fill the void, aided by
super-rich stars who declared free agency to escape the war in Ukraine. The Outfit now
has more than enough reserves on the federal bench to begin competing on April Fuel’s Day, with a full schedule of day-and-night financial swindles, all hosted at the luxurious
Abu Ghraib Stadium, adjacent to the Military-Industrial-Prison Whipping Post Complex.
Teams will include the Russian Oligarchs, the NATO Diplomats, the Silicon Valley Dotcoms,
the Alaska Pipelines, the Mexican Cartels, the Wall Street Journals, the Las Vegas Sinners,
the Japanese Reactors, the Eastern Elites, the Pfizer Pharmas, the Florida Demagogues,
and the Mainstream Media. The new stadium boasts of the most uneven playing field
in the world, with a complement of Fortune 500 Sky High Boxes designed by Elon Tusk,
president of the exclusive Elephants Club, whose members have unlimited access to a
treasure trunk of diamonds stored below the grandstand. Commissioner Walt Martyr
hasn’t decided on a name for the new league, but is reviewing a number of proposals.
including one from a rival entrepreneur whom he describes as a “Soros loser” for not
being allowed to apply for a franchise, when a dispute broke out between the owners
of the British Brexits and the British Sterling, neither of whom had sufficient funds to
leverage or burn out the London Fog. Thus there are still juice loans on cooked books.
However, season ticket holders will qualify for Gilded Age discounts, plus free passes
to watch the Texas Tycoons strike oil against the Tammany Hall Robber Barons in the
annual Old-Crimer’s World Swindle, sure to be a bitcoin thrill for young facebook fans.
While our national pastime has become a thing of the past, there are well-manicured grounds for optimism as spring marketing begins. With American football relegated
to the sidelines until hospitals can find space for athletes suffering from concussions
as well as COVID, baseball may regain its former status as a secure investment, both
for fixers and financiers all over the globe. The Bear might not have wanted it that
way, but in sports as in everything else, a cheater never quits, and Bull always wins.

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OUT OF THE PIG PEN, INTO THE EMPYREAN

For a change, this a serious letter. I read R.C. Harvey’s wonderful essay on “Funnies
Farrago and the Age of Schulz” with rapt attention. Someday I should like to visit the
Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa, CA, where much if not all of his work is displayed and
preserved. I did not know that the name “Peanuts” was chosen for the strip, not by
Charles Schulz himself. Yet it was a fortunate fall, despite the creator’s doubts and
misgivings. “Working for Peanuts” was the title of a Walt Disney cartoon (1953), which
appeared in 1953, three years after “Peanuts” debuted. The phrase itself was coined
around 1900 by Harry M. Stevens, who ran the concessions stand at the Polo Grounds
in New York. Stevens jocularly referred to himself as a peanut vendor; eventually, his
firm became a nationwide operation. (By karmic coincidence, Schulz, a rabid baseball
fan, rooted for the San Francisco Giants after they moved from the Big Apple to the City
by the Bay). The word also evoked memories of the Great Depression, and the struggle
to survive that affects everyone, young or old, then and now. That is also why Charlie
Brown was destined to become a loser–because, in the end, we all are. He is a mythic
figure: the Man of La Mancha, if not the Son of Man. His faith in Lucy is unshakable,
despite the fact that she always pulls the pigskin out from under him at the last moment.
He is both a child and an adult, tilting at footballs, suffering for her pelts, giving himself a
second chance, while offering her the hope of redemption without her even knowing it.
He is Kierkegaard’s knight of faith–a martyr traveling incognito, a tragic figure in comic
strip guise. For Schulz, “the last shall be first” is not verbal piety but morally imperative,
as in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, where a bare and withered tree is the true
symbol of the holiday, and a subtle reminder of Calvary. Yet there is nothing preachy
or sectarian about Schulz’s Christianity–after all, what could be more pagan than the
Great Pumpkin? Or more urbane and civilized than a dog house with so many humble
mansions, each one inhabited by little people with big dreams–dreams that will shatter
before dawn, yet endure past sunset, from one strip to the next, and beyond the grave?
If there are no atheists in dog houses, there is room for everyone who believes in a dog.
The Peanuts gang is a melting pot of human folly: America writ small, yet all-inclusive.
It is poetry in panels, four-square and seven ages of humanity ago. As Ludwig Van
Beethoven confided to Schroeder, “es muss sein.” He meant art, which mirrors our
mirthful yet morbid fate. As blanket statements go, that about covers it. Peanuts of
the world, unite–you have nothing to lose but your leashes. Grieve well.

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On Going the Distance

Dear Editor:

If Rep. Paul Gosar is serious about “distancing” himself from white supremacists,
the easiest (if not best) way to do it without leaving the state of Arizona is to move
from Flagstaff to Nogales, which is 95% Hispanic. If for some reason that doesn’t
appeal to him, he should relocate to Dalton, GA, which is almost 54% Hispanic–a
move that may endear him to local residents, many of whom show signs of being
dissatisfied with their Congressional representative, despite her telegenic presence.
A third alternative would be to resign his seat, return to his alma mater (Creighton)
in Omaha, and work as an unpaid volunteer at the Dr. Betty Shabazz Community
Center, adjacent to the Malcolm X Birthplace Memorial, for the rest of his life, to
insure that prejudice, bigotry, and political demagoguery alike shall perish from
the earth. If that’s too much to ask, he can just drive up to the South Rim of the
Grand Canyon and stare into the abyss, until it stares back at him, and takes the
plunge; which by all means may be necessary for Dr. Gosar to do the right thing.

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Good Ole’ Girls and Boys

Marjorie Taylor Greene has just been given the Klanswoman of the Year award.
The award was presented at the Grand Ole’ Civic Outhouse in Burning Cross, GA.
In her acceptance speech, Ms. Greene said “I am honored to receive this award,
although I’ve never seen Burning Cross, nor have I ever met anyone in the Klan,
at least not knowingly, or during daylight hours.” A reception at Mar-a-Lago
was postponed until President Trump returns from his mission to Moscow,
where he is expected to participate in the Peacenik March on the Kremlin,
protesting Vladimir Putin’s recent invasion of Ukraine.

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