Letters to the Editor

If you'd like to submit a letter, scroll down to the submission form.

« Newer Letters

BIG TIME vlad

putin………..THE REGRETABLE SHRINKING MAN

In 2008 Peter Gabriel released a song called “BIG TIME”-

Search it-Listen, (no cost)- it’s as if Gabriel wrote the entire song for Putin-every lyric.

The World is watching just how “shrinkingly small” putin’s compassion is.

Ukraine will be bombed into oblivion because putin’s one-inch- PRIDE has been bruised.

Conscripted Russian teenagers will rain down shells and murder next-door neighbors- because vlad ordered it, one PATHETIC punk in a silk suit, thinks he is the RAINMAKER.

Peacekeeper putin- (they will never call him) …22 years of poisoning democracy, stealing from the public KGB tricks and running a Great nation aground- in broad daylight.

The shame Russia feels -RIGHT NOW will grow into a towering thundercloud-it will become the wrath of God, you will have no place to run vlad.

Putin- you did this, TERRIBLE people like you and Trump- Peter Gabriel wrote your legacy
– BIG TIME-

Humor Times
Share


‘Tis Déjà Nude à Vous

As the invasion of Ukraine continues, a male impersonator who calls himself
Vladimir Putain was arrested in Paris for disturbing the war and peace. The
officer in Montparnasse who was responsible for the bust, Capitain Charles
De Hebdolle, cited Section 1954 of the DBP code, which forbids aggression
of any kind within 1,000 km of the Eiffel Tower, unless it is directed against
American tourists. At the time of the arrest, V.P. had just gotten a pass
to watch Stella Artois perform in “Il y’a une jeune fille dans mon potage,”
starring Marjorie Taylor Greene. However, Ms. Artois became highly
indignant when Ms. Greene kept shouting “Stella, Stella!” while they
were on stage together, and began attacking her. Putain, thinking
this was all part of the act, leaped onto the stage from his box seat
sur le balcon, screaming in Latin, whereupon officer Hebdolle, who
was guarding Emmanuel Macron a few parking meters away, took
the script into his own hands, then closed the theatre of war for the
night, as he produced a warrant against Vladdy for failure to Improv
on it, based on bad presidents set in Indo-China, Algeria, and the 13
English colonies. Asked to tell his/her side of the story, Putain said
just one word: “Nyet!” Old French chefs, rarely at a loss for herbs,
called upon renowned linguist Dr. Anna Karenina to interpret this
encrypted remark, but she declined, saying only, “I can’t heb, doll.”
Any resemblance to Marlene Dietrich in drag is strictly intentional.
However, something may have been lost in the original, including
false innocence.

Humor Times
Share


Jerking the Chain, Chaining the Jerk

“White House Toilet Deposed by January 6 Committee” (Ted Holland, Feb. 18, 2022)

I commend you for opening so many drawers while engaging us in ethic cleansing.
Unfortunately, the Whitewash House has already been scrubbed, since the Trump
Organization became so insolvent that their dirty laundry was exported to China.
However, what goes around comes around, just as it did on 9/11, or at Chernobyl.
Rumor has it that three more toilets formerly located in the Oval Orifice have been
subpenised to testify in Congress. Sluices close to one of the fixtures, code-named
Windbreaker, say that they have security leaks in their pipelines that will “blow the
lid” off our nation’s crapitol. A gag order has been placed on all three commodes,
primarily to comply with EPA regulations, although unreliable sources claim that it
is impossible to eliminate the lingering odor of Sean Hannity, even from the urinal
in the Lincoln bedroom. Meanwhile, a Top Secret Service agent has sworn under
his foul breath that “Four-Flusher” was the code name for Vladimir Putin when he
met with Resident Trump in Florida, which may explain why No. 45 tried to get rid
of any traces of No. 1 and No. 2, lest the Russian leader take matters into his own
hands, so to speak. Still hoping to emerge from the slime, former Vice-Manager
Mike Pence has become increasingly sedimental, yet he conceded that “I’d rather
be clenched than lynched.” In the end, the game of old thrones depends on the
willingness of the unholy trio to do more than cause a flap, when and if they each
decide to shed their Plumbers’ tools and take the standing stream of paper trails
left dangling by Watergate. As Windbreaker allergenically told the Supreme Court
enduring closeted session, “if you won’t uphold Roe v. Wade, the least you can do
is to untie our TV tubes, or you’ll be responsible for a gross miscarrion of judges.”

Humor Times
Share


WWIII

Exxon Mobil has more exploration holdings and acres in Russia than America.

Another war for Oil.

ABANDONING-“these 64 million acres of Exxon leases” WILL PROVE sanctions are “in place” against Putin’s crony mafia autocracy.

Until then-S.O.S.

As Marine Major General Smedley Butler said after WWI-“WAR IS A RACKET” (Smedley should know)…Butler was propositioned by Wall street industrialists to take over the White House after their planned elimination of FDR in 1933.

1933 was America’s FIRST FAIL COUP ATTEMPT- (Trump was never 1st at anything).

Rackets mean- little folks die, so Swiss Bank accounts can flourish.

Rackets mean BUSINESS AS USUAL- for crooked shameless billionaires.

China will pump Putin’s gas- Vlad has already welcomed (Trillionaire) Xi Jinping- who’s Uyghur labor camps are only a few (brain-washed) kilometers away (as the crooked missile flies).

Ukrainian refugees are NOT streaming towards Russian or Chinese borders.

Xi’s used his “fake Communist Olympics” to whisper approval for Vlad’s Ukraine invasion, (knowing)… Putin will reciprocate, when Xi invades Taiwan (next year) … how MODERN brutality operates in THEIR world of empire building.

Look! – its Tucker Carlson and Trump ramming a MAGA Russian tank through an elementary school filled with terrified children.

“Pure genius” tweets FIELD COMMANDER TRUMP.

“Have you ever seen so much free real-estate up for grabs”? PRIVATE TUCKER greases another deadly round of propaganda for Putin’s war on humanity.

Hoping to see all THEIR greasy shit BLOW UP IN THEIR MORON FACES.

Humor Times
Share


Take the Plunge, or Drain the Trump?

“White House Toilet Deposed by January 6 Committee” (Ted Holland, Feb. 18, 2022)

Since the original story broke wind, three more Oval Office toilets have been thrown
or handed sub-poenas. One, code-named “Whistleblower,” is scheduled to flush or
testify (whichever goes first) as soon as Trump is caught with his pants down, either
by the IRS or the State of New York. The other two are being sequestered, both for
their own safety and to prevent massive indoor flooding along the Eastern seaboard.
Residents of Florida won’t be affected, in part because they’re quite familiar with the
problem, and don’t consider it a threat to public health. As an octogenarian assured
an audience of peers at a retirement home near Mar-a-Lago, “I’ve grown accustomed
to his waste.” Although her voice was slightly off-Keys, the message got through and
undoubtedly struck a nerve, since several who were in attendance died the next day,
from complications due to Flint-19. Since then there have been no outbreaks, either
of remorse or of shame, which is reason enough to keep the toilets under wraps for
the time being, until the lid blows off the handle, and Trump’s chain has been jerked
upright long enough to make him pay attention to the indictment as it is being read.
Meanwhile, Whistleblower has already shown signs of crapping out, and may refuse
to take the stand, even if the other toilets are overflowing with security leaks. W.B.
has already had close brushes with the law, and thus has become cynical about the
judicial system, especially since the passing of Justice Ruth Bidet Ginsburg, not long
ago. In a recent guest appearance on Sanitation Night Live, W.B. (disguised as the
ghost of Plumbers past) surprises Watergate burglars rifling through old drawers
at DNC, only to watch in horror as they gathered in a circle and pissed all over the Constitution, without bothering to aim at the tidal bowl. Asked about it after the
show, W.B. said “history is repeating itself. Only this time, Trump isn’t taking the
Fifth–he’s pouring it down my throat, along with all that incriminating evidence.
What does he want me to do, throw up? Just ’cause he’s a drunken lout, why in
the name of January 6 do I have to pay for it?” Sobering words, from a veteran
four-flusher who has seen (and heard) it all. Yet the question at this hour is as
yet unanswered: Will W.B. tank? Or will the pressure from other toilets compel
No. 45 and his tools to take a flying dump? As more ooze about political slime
trickles down the Potomac pipeline, Americans will be the last to know, or care.

Humor Times
Share


Older Letters »

NOTE: The "Letters to the Editor" submission form, which is usually located here, has been closed temporarily due to spamming. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Share