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Letter of Concern on Your Tremendously DISHONEST & FAKE Website

I just want to warn you about your totally unfair, completely overrated website that nobody believes and everybody is furious about!

Marjorie Taylor Green is a tremendously lied about person, both Chinese space goblins and Chinese space goblin adversaries have very fine people on both sides, nobody has done more than Marjorie Taylor Greene to defeat all these so-called ‘imaginary’ extra-terrestrial figures, well perhaps apart from little old ME, your favourite President!

Also, I have no idea who ‘Michael Gove’ is and I think there is too much coverage of countries and people all Americans have never heard of, apart from the Very Disloyal Democrats who are 24/7 reading about other countries online in the Fake News, in order to wage psychological warfare against the Good Honest Hardworking Americans who support me and who don’t travel to bad countries who hate us and who lie outside our borders.

I hear there are a lot of bad countries out there, you wouldn’t believe the stories they tell me! There’s always Russia, that place is OK but it’s so far away it’s not even worth going there, believe me. I’ve never been to Russia but I hear Fake News CNN go there all the time just to make up bad stories about me and all the tremendous people and unjustly persecuted political prisoners I’ve just pardoned like Steve Bannon, the Oklahoma Bomber, Ted Bundy, George Wallace, John Wilkes Booth, O J Simpson, Lee Harvey Oswald, Jeff Epstein, Jeff Dahmer, the Unabomber, Michael Jackson and Ghislaine Maxwell.

There are also too many stories about the Spaniards like King Joanne Carlos the One, I think that’s the guys who are bribing Low Energy Jeb to put the most unbelievably Fake and Dishonest stories about me at the behest of their dishonest leader, the King of Mexico! And why is he called “The One?” If I called myself “The One,” I’d never get away with it, the dishonest fake news media would be like “Durrrrnurld Trurrrrmp is a very urrrogant purrson!”

I’m not an arrogant person. In fact I am a tremendously humble and honest and generous and non-litigious person and the only people who think otherwise are going to squeezed by my unbelievably smart and talented lawyers for every last penny they have! I only get the best people, believe me: I could sell the nuclear codes to North Korea on an unsecured private server and Rudy would be able to fix it absolutely perfect! Especially now that I’ve, uhhhh, now that I could try and eliminate all the fake, dishonest people falsely making these claims; I’ve never known a story so dishonest and so fake about what I’ve done to be leaked out and all the evidence displayed to all the world: that sounds like something Tucker Carlson would’ve done and did do! Oh no wait he didn’t, actually I shouldn’t be thinking out loud. Thinking is dangerous. I hear a lot of people think that.

A lot of people thinking like me, everybody’s thinking the same! Also I think the totally unpresidented coverage of the Church of Scientology is the most unfair and ridiculous thing I have ever seen, apart from what they write about Donald J. Trump. Hatred of Scientology is typical of the irrational and hate-filled anti-Trump press: there is so much fake coverage and negative polling of Scientology, and there are no poll respondents, they just make ’em up and all of them sound just exactly like Earthlings, it’s an obvious sampling error but the fake news won’t show this! L Ron Hubbard could cure every form of addiction possible in 48 hours just by wishing it, which by the way he did do, and so did I, but the Dishonest Democrats and nearly 500 other corrupt and dishonest countries on earth, and equally as many planets as well, how many is 500 times 500? Wow! It’s a lot. This is a number so big, it’s like not even a number!

Even a tremendously YUUUUUGE number by the standard of numbers. It’s a number so big you can’t even imagine it being a number. Such a big number, ladies and gentlemen. Such a big number. By the way, what’s it with numbers nowadays? Everybody is crazy about numbers. Numbers are making people crazy. Almost as bad as North Korean space cannons. Or all these fake and imaginary numbers. Numbers can be imaginary too, you wouldn’t believe it but it’s a fact! Not many people know this.

Even the dishonest Wikipedia, which by the way is very liberal and very, very fake, admits imaginary numbers are real. But the China-controlled fake courts and fake justices falsely claim that ‘the square root of 2’ (whatever that means, I mean who cares about the details, whatever!) is not a meaningful number for all the unbelievably fake and dishonest Beijing Biden Ballot Papers! Lin Wood and Sydney Powell provided perfect proof but the dishonest radical left justices falsely claimed Wikipedia was not a good source for this claim.

Then we came back with a Conservapedia source and they still said all these imaginary numbers were a figment of my imagination and totally irrelevant to the election. Such an injustice! ‘Of course they’re imaginary,’ I said, ‘imaginary numbers are called imaginary because they’re imaginary, I know this because I have all the best words, I use only the best words, believe me, the best words anybody has ever imagined! Like Easy D and Covfefe!’

I then ended up in a cell for 24 hours because they said saying ‘Easy D’ to a judge was soliciting, which it obviously wasn’t, and anyway the judge was easily not even a 2 out of 10, the most tremendously ugly person, not even like Kim Jong Kardashian ugly and other horrible leaders, and anyway I told them ‘I don’t want this kind of cell, can you give me the important person one, also there are Spaniards and other hostile unbelievably under-paying European enemy countries in this cell that are 24/7 paying under Nought Point Nought-Nought-Nought-Nought-Thirteen-Hundred-And-Zero-Per-Cent of their defense costs, shouldn’t they be back in a Mexico cell instead?’ And they told me the most rude and dishonest things, things that like you can’t even believe, and the next day I got out after suiciding all the guards by just blinking but they came back to life and they told me it was actually a hospital for lo-functioning psychopaths and I said ‘low-functioning psychopaths so where are Crooked Hillary and Rocket Man and Low Energy Jesus and all those other lo-functioning, lo-income welfare queens’ and anyway they say I have to stop writing now because it’s not good for my health and I say who cares your unbelievably dishonest, fake, made-up publication is…

DEAR COLLEAGUES: I WARNED YOU A MILLION TIMES TO STOP GIVING THIS FLAMING LUNATIC A PEN AND PAPER! THE JOKE IS STARTING TO WEAR A BIT THIN! DUTIFULLY YOURS, NURSE RATCHED REAGAN.

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A Conspiracy of Trumpsters

No one is irreplaceable. But when they remove all doubt,
even Hal Phillip Walker’s bullhorn smells like sour grapes.
I’ll go Tucker Carlson one better. It’s high time to replace
Fox News. They’re diluting civic discourse, while polluting
the air waves with verbal filth. Carlson can still exercise his
First Amendment rights ad libitum, by sipping on the rocks
at his favorite tavern. Fox should turn their studios over to
Troy McClure, and kiss Maggie. Release the news hounds!

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And the Banned Played On

Anthony Tommasini, “James Levine, Former Met Opera Maestro,  is Dead at 77”
(NY Times, March 17, 2021)

Obituary notices brought us sad news of the passing of an eminent American musician.
James Levine was a great conductor.  Unfortunately, he met his own Götterdämmerung.  By then it was over, even before the fat lady sang. Wherever the Valkyries roam, it’s high
time for Wagner to go home–and take Brunnhilde with him.   Next year in Bayreuth won’t
do: no more foreign Tanglewoods, please. Give the orchestra their cue, Lieber Maestro:
Requiem for a frustrated Don Giovanni, alone in his eagle’s nest–bedeviled by fate, and,
as the brass ring plays no quarter cycles, virtually tone-deaf to every progressive chord.

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Beware the Semper Fies of March

I’m beginning to feel sorry for Fox News Host and “personality” Tucker Carlson. After making a series of extraordinarily sexist and inflammatory remarks about “pregnant pilots,” women generals, and women in general, he was taken to task by everyone from Brianna Keilar (news anchor, CNN) to Tammy Duckworth (U.S. Senator, D-IL). Ms. Keilar is a military spouse, married to a former Green Beret, while Sen. Duckworth lost both legs serving as a helicopter pilot in Iraq, before entering the political sphere. Hence their comments were both poignant and pungent. As if Carlson didn’t have enough trouble, he was also roundly reprimanded on Twitter by a United States Marine.

Not just any Marine, but a member of the Defense Intelligence Agency. Not just any member of the DIA, but a highly decorated, 28-year veteran of the Marine Corps who has been in combat multiple times, while being deployed in Somalia, Albania, Zaire (now the Congo), Bosnia, and Iraq. Not just any highly decorated vet, either, but one with a green belt in Martial Arts, a master’s degree in cybersecurity and a certificate from the Kennedy School at Harvard, all of which qualified him for his his current role as 20th Command Senior Enlisted Leader—the first Marine to hold that title at DIA. Impressive, especially for a kid who enlisted in the Marines when he was 18, straight out of high school—and is now only 46 years old, but with several lifetimes of experience, both in the field and in the classroom, from the halls of Milošević to the shores of Al-Qaeda. He vouches for the women in his life (including his wife, a nurse with a master’s in Biohazards who, like her husband, is also a champion powerlifter). I wouldn’t argue with him about that—would you? Neither would his daughter, I’ll bet—nor any of the military women who have worked with (not under) him, during his tours of duty both at home and abroad. He gives all of them A+ ratings—and is grateful for their skill and courage, as exemplary as his own. Besides, anyone with a name like Stalker must be taken very seriously, don’t you agree?

That’s right: Master Gunnery Sergeant Scott H. Stalker, USMC. He’s not related to R.Lee Ermey— and has no relation whatsoever to Gomer Pyle. But if I were Tucker Carlson, I’d be worried right about now, just in case someone is looking for him, so to speak. Since today is the Ides of March, I’d be afraid of going to work, let alone to shop at the Forum. Tucker’s friends may be Roman, but his enemies are Legion. And if the Marines are looking for a few good women—well, that may be Carlson’s only hope of staying alive, provided he remains inside his den, and doesn’t venture out of doors to chase after a fox. Et tu, Trumpe?

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Time Runneth Out

Today (March 14) is Albert Einstein’s birthday. Thus it is only fitting for Americans to
commemorate that event by turning our clocks back one hour. Yet as sunlight bends around our planet on its journey through space, do not be alarmed; for as Kant sagely observed, “from the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made;” as witness the events of January 6, which confirmed Einstein’s prediction of an ellipse in
total eclipse, with all the crooks gone to rot, and humanity left to drift through the void.

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