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“Sadly, it’s about time,” says Chief Justice Roberts, who will deliver the eulogy. “The thing’s been basically dead for years.” WASHINGTON DC — The US Constitution, finally pronounced … Read more
Promises new textbook on American history will be “Greatest Ever” This reporter has secured an outline of some of the points that President Trump is going to cover … Read more
Fear not, citizens, those tanks are just part of President Trump’s brand new, fabulous July 4th celebration! As military tanks are secretly transported into Washington, locals can be … Read more
The 4th of July: the loudest holiday Hey everybody; you know all that anxiety that’s been building up? Well, just let it go and relax now, because the 4th … Read more
