Lost Journal: Quest for the Four-bounce Homer
Lost Journal entry: April 21, 1978 (age 9) To hit a home run in the St. Thomas Aquinas Elementary school parking lot, the ball has to hit or … Read more
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Protecting Political Insiders from Our First Amendment
Ah, it’s almost August — time for another quadrennial flowering of America’s glorious democratic process, otherwise known as the presidential nominating conventions! This grand testimonial of our citizens’ … Read more
Argus Has Fun with the News: Charlie Sheen & More
The News, as interpreted by Argus Hamilton: Charlie Sheen announced Tuesday that he is interested in being a judge on American Idol. He knows plenty about the music … Read more
Bert and Ernie: The Prenup
By Roz Warren and Janet Golden Now that President Obama has endorsed gay marriage, it will soon become legal everywhere in America, including, of course, Sesame Street, which … Read more
Lost Journal: ‘Ski Club’ is an Appropriately Violent Phrase
Journal entry: December 14, 1981 (age 12) The staff of the Greek Peak ski resort cringes when they see our Ski Club bus approaching. My middle school, St. … Read more
The Bain of His Electoral Existence
You might say it was a turbulent week for Mitt Romney. You could also say a light lemon sugar wash makes for ineffective mosquito repellent. He claims to … Read more
Coming Soon: A Shortage of Olympic Athletes?
Just as the Summer Olympics are poised to begin in London, we receive disturbing news about the health of American youth. A new Centers For Disease Control report … Read more
How To Know If Ducks Are Unhappy: My Google Analytics Adventure
Every writer needs a good website, so folks can discover your work, write you fan mail and maybe even offer you assignments. I’m a humor writer, and lucky … Read more
Argus Has Fun with the News: Drew Brees & More
In the news: Mitt Romney addressed the NAACP Convention in Houston Wednesday. The sight of a rich Mormon Republican asking two thousand black Democrats for their support was … Read more
Being Attacked by a Horde of Flesh Hungry Zombies Is Not Fun
Hello folks. How are things going for you? That’s good. At the moment I am hold up in an abandoned farmhouse in the Midwest. I have it boarded … Read more
