Lost Journal: The Halloween Costume Piece Accords of 1973
Journal entry: October 31, 1973 (age 4) – Halloween Costume Accords As I admired my new Halloween costume in the mirror, I said, “Ri ruv Ralloreen.” To play Scooby-Doo, … Read more
comedy
Lost Journal: First Impressions of a Third-Grade Talent Show
Journal entry: February 18, 1977 (age 7) – Talent Show Tiddly, winky, winky, winky Tiddly, winky, woo I love you. This kind of groveling before the judges was … Read more
Lost Journal: A Pointless Bit of Yard Work Spawns Two Backyard Becketts
Journal entry: September 10, 1988 (age 19) – Yard Work During 13 years in the Catholic School system, I got used to having days off on and around … Read more
Lost Journal: To Sleep, Perchance to Bad Dream
Journal entry: October 23, 1976 (age 7) – Bad Dreams As my back sank against the cold tile wall, my arms flailed madly in a final, futile effort … Read more
Wheeling and Dealing: The Vatican’s Dirty Secret
Using Vatican diplomatic plates as cover This past Tuesday, while performing a routine search of a Vatican car, police made a rather unexpected discovery, one that included a … Read more
Lost Journal: The Fighting Irish vs. the Heckling Irish
Journal entry: January 2, 1989 (age 19) – Fighting Irish It was a strange sight. Earlier tonight, about 3 dozen grown men were gathered on a small, backyard … Read more
Lost Journal: The Battle for Orthodontic Independence
Journal entry: October 22, 1984 (age 15) – Taking the braces off I’ve been preparing for this day for years. My parents paid a lot of money to … Read more
Lost Journal: Inside a Dining Hall Slop Room
Journal entry: April 20, 1989 (age 19) – Dining Hall Slop Room Earlier tonight, I stood in an empty, dreary room waiting for the grinding of soulless machinery … Read more
Lost Journal: The Labor Day Housework Marathon
Journal entry: September 7, 2009 (age 40) – Labor Day Housework Marathon This afternoon, I wore a huge, frozen smile as I walked over to my wife, Amanda, … Read more
Lost Journal: Laugh Track – the Next Generation
Journal entry: October 4, 2009 (age 40) – Laugh Track Nothing makes a TV show funnier than a laugh track. Hearing other people’s laughter tells our social brains … Read more
