convention - Humor Times

Future News: Trump Delivers Own Keynote Address at RNC

By Bill Tope, March 7, 2024March 6, 2024

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Normally reserved for a political "up and comer," Trump gave the July, 2024 RNC keynote address himself.

Tossing tradition to the wind, 2024 Republican presidential nominee Donald J. Trump elected to give the Republican National Convention's keynote address himself this election circuit.

[caption id="attachment_118568" align="alignleft" width="400"]

Trump takes off to give RNC keynote address. Photo: Tomás Del Coro, CC BY-SA 2.0.[/caption]

Normally reserved for a political "up and comer," Trump explained prior to the speech that he was "an expert on all things, including Republican politics," and so would deliver the address himself. He delivered the keynote speech last night, July 17, 2024, one day prior to the scheduled close of the four-day convention, citing a pressing golf game the next day with newfound sugar daddy billionaire Elon Musk.

Some 50,000 individuals attended this year's convention, including more than 2,500 delegates from most American states and territories. At Trump's insistence, delegates from Washington D.C. and Vermont were excluded from participating this year; he cited their lack of loyalty in refusing to pledge all their delegates to Trump during the primaries.

Trump was introduced to the throngs of Republicans at Milwaukee's Fiserv Forum by Republican National Committee co-chairs Lara Trump and rocker Ted Nugent, who together performed a rollicking version of Cat Scratch Fever, the latter's one hit in a long and undistinguished career.

After the keynote address intro, Trump bounced onto the stage and joked and engaged in ribald repartee with his admirers. He began by thanking those who, "in some miniscule measure," had made his third nomination possible. He welcomed junior Senator Tim Scott (R. SC), telling the legislator that he should be happy to be back in the Midwest, where he could visit his forebears at the ape house at the Milwaukee County Zoo. The crowd shrieked its approval. The senator, caught by arena television cameras stage right, where he was still polishing Trump's shoes, waved to the audience.

In his four years in office, Trump was most noted for his alleged participation in the Jan. 6 2021 Capitol insurrection. But tonight Trump turned the table on his critics by calling President Joe Biden's handling of the border situation tantamount to "A conspiracy to overthrow the government of the United States of America." Trump continued: "Obama is," he said, "a blight on the history of autocracy." After a whispered conversation with an aid off camera, Trump reemerged and said with a smile, "I knew it wasn't Obama--I knew it was Lyndon Johnson...."

"Women's healthcare," bellowed the ex-president, "is only a shadow of what it was when I first came into office. I did that!" he yelped, to the adulation of the crowd.

"And if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, caravans of brown vermin are poisoning the bloodlines of real Americans." Throughout the huge auditorium, frenzied fans shouted and brandished placards emblazoned with "MAGA," "TRUMP" and "NO SHAME."

"You know, blue states are taking white kids out of schools and replacing them with illegals. They're immediately registering them to vote, too. And they're turning out the white kids, the legitimate students, onto the streets, where they just wander around, lost. You've all heard of Replacement Theory, am I right?" The crowd grew boisterous, chasing a Hispanic usher from the room. "Don't kill him," said Trump boredly, "but if you do, I'll cover your legal bills."

"These vermin -- they look like children, but they're really adults -- are evil; they're like Hannibal Lecter. And they speak languages that" -- he stumbled for words -- "nobody understands. It's like they were from Mars or St. Louis or Detroit, or East L.A." Again the crowd raised their voices in approval.

"In sanctuary cities," Trump went on, "where they harbor these illegals, they have no more sports! No professional wrestling, no football -- just soccer," he concluded distastefully. It's all a part of a vast left-wing plot, to allow Migrant Crime!" A rumble of discord snaked across the large arena. Trump was nodding. "And at the same time, they're persecuting me for non- crimes: like peculation, lying, falsifying financial records, and other victim-less offenses, including forcible rape." The crowd was going wild. "That's right," purred Trump. "I love you, too!" And he grabbed his crotch and thrust an orange fist into the air.

Trump reiterated his oft made claim that his multiple indictments on nearly 100 felony counts had endeared him to the Black community and garnered him new minority friends. "In spite of their natural shortcomings," said Trump, "the lesser among us have shown they are capable of coming to the fore and embracing those things that real Americans can appreciate."

Trump had some unexpected announcements to make concerning his anticipated second term as president. He said that acclaimed Humor Times conservative Capitol correspondent Llib Epot was being brought on board to serve as Trump's new press secretary. He added that Epot's tenure was secure, until such time as the journalist "pulls a Sean Spicer," at which time Epot would be "late for the door."

Trump announced that his new administration would be marked by transparency, and would not tolerate "the lies of the Biden administration." Said Trump: "Now that you've got a younger man in the White House, you'll find I'm much more up to the job. "I'm fifteen years younger than the old guy," he said. "I'm six feet, five inches tall and I weigh precisely 190 lbs. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.

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Normally reserved for a political “up and comer,” Trump gave the July, 2024 RNC keynote address himself. Tossing tradition to the wind, 2024 Republican presidential nominee Donald J. … Read more

Melania’s GOP Convention Address

By JC Wade, August 22, 2020August 20, 2020

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First Lady pledges not to plagiarize Michelle Obama at this year's convention address.

Melania Trump will be giving a Republican National Convention address next week and sources close to the first lady surprised reporters by announcing that she will not be plagiarizing Michelle Obama’s speech this time.
“I would clearly be in over my head in trying to repeat such a powerful speech” she is purported to have uttered. According to Chris Wallace of Fox News, the former first lady really “flayed, sliced and diced” President Trump, something the current first lady declared she would never do in public. “I only do that in private” she is alleged to have said.
Another source, who only agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity, stated that Mrs. Trump would be carefully listening to Jill Biden’s speech in hopes that it is one she could reprise next week. If that doesn’t work out, she planned to read the Emancipation Proclamation or the Declaration of Independence.
However, that idea was apparently leaked to the president’s legal team who were quick to point out that the couple’s revised prenuptial agreement forbid her from using the word emancipation or making any reference to a declaration of independence before the 2020 election.
The anonymous source said that, as a backup plan the first lady would read the Gettysburg Address claiming that it would be fitting and proper for her to deliver that oration and that Lincoln’s address had been delivered so many years ago that no one would remember it.
The nation can’t wait to hear whose speech she delivers this time.

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First Lady pledges not to plagiarize Michelle Obama at this year’s convention address. Melania Trump will be giving a Republican National Convention address next week and sources close … Read more

The Donald’s Trumpapalooza

By Will Durst, July 28, 2016July 28, 2016

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    [post_content] => The Republican convention was all Trump all the time
The Republicans wrapped their four-day, multi-network infomercial with a speech from nominee Donald John Trump that ripped the wallpaper off Cleveland’s Quicken Loans Arena. Life in America today is dark, dangerous, dismal, dystopian, full of doom and the only light on the horizon is coming from the blinding white teeth of the Blue Collar Billionaire.

The best way to describe what went down last week is… Trumpapalooza. It was all Trump all the time. Usually, a party’s nominee is the blushing bride, only getting glimpsed at the big closing ceremony, but this bride appeared live or by video all four days and did not blush once.

He needed to fill the void of a large group of Heavy Duty Republicans who stayed home, worried about being painted by the Trump Crazy Brush, which like his hair has an exceptionally wide swath. Sen. Jeff Flake from Arizona said he didn’t go because he “had to mow the lawn.” Which is just above sorting your sock drawer in terms of sad.

Hence, organizers were forced to flood the stage with Trumps. Or is it Trumpses? The whole affair was downright Trumpalicious. When it wasn’t about Hillary, that is. Which was often. To say she wasn’t getting hit with the happy stick is like intimating that Phoenix in August might creep up past balmy.

Chris Christie was ready to persecute, prosecute, execute, play a flute and electrocute Mrs. Clinton until she, reduced to ashes, could be safely sprinkled in the Cuyahoga River. And why is it that even when addressing supporters, the New Jersey Governor sounds like he’s reading them their Miranda Rights?

Ben Carsonogenic accused Hillary of being a disciple of Lucifer. Wow. Where do you go from there? Not a lot of wiggle room left. Should she subsequently kick a puppy, does that make her even more eviler than Lucifer?

The VP pick, Mike Pence, claimed he’s not the most exciting politician and proved himself right. Next to this guy, vanilla seems exotic. And French vanilla -- downright psychedelic. But he’s exactly what Trump needs. A yin for the yang. A conservative to balance the renegade. A soft green mold to muffle the spiky shards. 2% milk for the hydrochloric acid.

And there were plenty of Trumpses to go around. The first night, the third wife gave a speech, lifting large portions from Obama’s only wife. On Tuesday night the daughter of the second wife spoke along with the son of the first wife. On Wednesday the other son of the first wife waxed poetic and on the closing night the daughter of the first wife introduced the fertile and fickle man himself.

The show ended with the whole Trump clan crowding the stage including the son of the third wife, and who knows, maybe wives #1 & #2 and a couple of assorted mistresses snuck up there. The funny thing is, they’re all blonde. Even the ones that aren’t blonde are blonde if you catch my drift. It was Trumptastic. Or Trumpatrocious, depending on your point of view.

But the real star was Ted Cruz who ripped a page straight out of the Trump playbook because even though the Texas Senator got booed for not endorsing his rival, we’re still talking about him, making him the presumptive front-runner for 2020 GOP nomination. And yes, you’re right. Thinking about 2020 is dark and dismal.
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The Republican convention was all Trump all the time The Republicans wrapped their four-day, multi-network infomercial with a speech from nominee Donald John Trump that ripped the wallpaper … Read more

No Ghostbusters in the Race for President

By Diane de Anda, July 27, 2016

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    [post_content] => Spirits have appeared by the hundreds, attempting to influence the democratic process of electing the next president.
At first, everyone thought is was just an advertising gimmick for the new Ghostbusters movie, as rumors spread of ghosts appearing across the country.

But, scientists have now verified that the nomination of Donald Trump caused a rupture across time that brought spirits from history back to earth to warn of Armageddon.

One of the first sights to be reported was that of the spirit of Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, who hovered above a Senate Foreign Relations Committee meeting, urging that they never fall victims to Trump's new Appeasement policy with Putin.

Thousands of spirits rose from their graves in Eastern Europe and filled the chamber, wringing their ghostly hands.

Hundreds of people who happened to look up spotted the spirits of the Founding Fathers, swooping into the Democratic Party Convention, swaying above the crowds to Bridge Over Troubled Waters.

The spirits of Daniel Webster, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King reportedly entered the bodies of speech-makers there, to help raise the delegates to a fever pitch to do anything they could to stop Donald Trump, as an army of ghosts slimed "Bernie or Bust" rabble-rousers outside.

Millions of spirits volunteered to create nightly nightmares for all registered Republican voters, walking them through the wasteland that will be the earth if Trump is allowed to put his finger on the red button. Frightened Trump supporters swamped Trump headquarters with calls and emails.

Trump responded by quickly issuing this tweet: “I don't take advice from the living or the dead.” Following the tweet, Trump was found unconscious in his bed, suffocating in a mass of slime.

Unfortunately, he was revived.
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Spirits have appeared by the hundreds, attempting to influence the democratic process of electing the next president. At first, everyone thought is was just an advertising gimmick for … Read more

Plagiarism Scandal Worsens: Trump Accused of Stealing Entire Campaign from Mein Kampf

By Michael Egan, July 20, 2016August 4, 2016

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    [post_content] => Historians outraged: 'Mein Kampf plagiarism a clear violation of international copyright standards.'
CLEVELAND – The Trump plagiarism scandal intensified yesterday as top historians accused the family patriarch Himself of shoplifting most of His ideas from Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf.

On Monday, His wife Melania was accused of plagiarizing her speech from Michelle Obama. On Tuesday, His son Donald Jr. was accused of plagiarizing his speech from an article by F.H. Buckley in The American Conservative.

Now a “Gang of Five” famous historians, led by Lincoln biographer Doris Kearns Goodwin, is accusing The Donald Himself of “a clear violation of international copyright standards” by basing his entire political strategy on a textbook execution of Hitler’s Mein Kampf.

“It’s well-known that Der Donald keeps a copy on his nightstand,” said Ms Goodwin at a press conference. “He even capitalizes pronouns referring to Himself in all His literature, like Hitler did. The copyright violations are simply intolerable and must be stopped, or we’re all doomed.”

Ms Goodwin added, “Where Hitler deliberately inflamed passions against Jews, Gypsies and homosexuals, Trump inflames passions against Muslims, Mexicans and homosexuals.”

She pointed out that also like Hitler, Trump’s program boils down to a few deliberately iconic symbols: the red baseball hat, "Make America Great Again," and His mop of distinctive hair, as instantly recognizable as Der Fuhrer’s toothbrush mustache.

“Also there’s a kind of sexual subtext. Hitler only had one ball and Trump only has his stubby little fingers, if you know what I mean.”

Ms Goodwin noted that the world and civilization had in fact survived Hitler.

“Still, would we have gotten this far,” she wondered, “if in 1939 Germany had access to nuclear missiles and the ability to launch them at a second’s notice?”

The famed historian laughed mirthlessly. “It looks like we are all about to find out,” she said.
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Historians outraged: ‘Mein Kampf plagiarism a clear violation of international copyright standards.’ CLEVELAND – The Trump plagiarism scandal intensified yesterday as top historians accused the family patriarch Himself … Read more

Packing List for Cleveland

By Will Durst, July 17, 2016

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    [post_content] => The national political conventions are a lot like professional wrestling: Next match, Cleveland.
The national political conventions are a lot like professional wrestling. Sure, we know what's going to happen, but every four years, it's fun to see who’s throwing around chairs and getting slammed into the turnbuckle.

Each gathering offers up unique opportunities for mocking and scoffing and taunting purposes. And this Republican meeting on the banks of an eerie lake promises wacky zany antics o’plenty; like a Ringling Bros. Circus tent with all the poles chewed through by termites in the middle of a Nor’easter.

Yours truly has made arrangements to travel to both the land of Cleve and the delphia of Phil and looks forward to being embedded in the upper Midwest just in time for the Humidity Festival, the way a crustacean awaits boiling water. And to clarify what we can expect, let him now share a list of indispensable items he’s taking to the first part of this summer sojourn.
Packing List for the 41st GOP National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio

 	White shoes and belt to blend in with the fashion style known as the Full Cleveland.
 	A Trump University alumni ring to flash at security checkpoints.
 	“Make America Grate Again” hat.
 	A Cleveland Browns golf towel to wipe away the tears when visiting the Lee Atwater exhibit at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
 	The secret password to get into the Log Cabin Republicans party, which always has the best appetizers.
 	Noting that the last 2 GOP national conventions were shortened a day because of hurricanes -- an umbrella. Also designed to protect from the deluge of partisan splooey about to descend on the 216 area code.
 	Two packages of Tums to follow up taste tour of local pierogi shops.
 	Bandanna soaked in eyewash for a walk through the protest pit.
 	An Anonymous ID to present to authorities when apprehended in the protest pit.
 	A Guy Fawkes mask.
 	A couple of Bill Cosby albums for Roger Ailes to play at the Fox News party to help female staffers get “in the mood.”
 	Two stories of scaffolding and a case of hair spray in the unlikely event of being conscripted to groom The Donald’s hair.
 	A chauffeur’s cap to facilitate commandeering a limo after attending one of the good parties.
 	A baker’s dozen of Krispy Kreme donuts to assuage the ego of Chris Christie.
 	Snake bite serum.
 	A Six Wives Club t-shirt with the Donald and the Newt’s pictures on it.
 	A DVD of “Hoosiers” to get a sense of the Mike Pence experience. Director’s cut.
 	12-pack of Viagra for Bob Dole to sign.
 	Sunglasses to protect eyes from the legions of journalists and politicians who overused their white strips.
 	A hand mirror to occasionally hold up to the personality-challenged Mike Pence’s lips to insure he’s breathing.
 	A dowsing rod to root out the GOP donors who kept insisting that Jeb Bush was “the smart one.”
 	A roll of dimes, which, as waitresses all over town will be able to tell you, is the traditional Republican tip.
 	Portable espresso machine to stash in hotel room in attempt to stay awake.
 	Copy of the Kama Sutra to keep track of Donald Trump’s ever changing positions.
 	One Golden State Warriors sweatshirt in anticipation of next year’s Rubber Match.

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The national political conventions are a lot like professional wrestling: Next match, Cleveland. The national political conventions are a lot like professional wrestling. Sure, we know what’s going … Read more

Roll of Duct Tape Named Trump’s New Communications Director

By J Crock, July 15, 2016July 22, 2016

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    [post_content] => An ongoing effort to professionalize the unconventional Trump campaign has resorted to some rather unconventional strategies.
In a further effort to professionalize their unconventional campaign, the Trump team today named a utility grade roll of silver Duct Tape as their new director of communications.

Campaign manager Paul Manafort stated the Scotch brand all-purpose adhesive will take the lead role over the campaign’s message and interactions with the news media as well as “forcibly preventing Trump’s stupid mouth from saying words.”

Manafort says the 1.88” by 30 yard roll of duct tape will also be vital in the campaign’s new social media strategy by "physically restraining Trump’s arms and hands to a metal chair which has been firmly bolted to the basement floor of Trump Tower.”

The roll of duct tape is one of a number of new hires the campaign has added to its communications team in recent days including: a grease-stained rag, a bottle of chloroform and a 40 foot length of rope.

At press time Mr. Trump was unavailable for comment on this story.
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An ongoing effort to professionalize the unconventional Trump campaign has resorted to some rather unconventional strategies. In a further effort to professionalize their unconventional campaign, the Trump team … Read more

Listen in: The Donald Woos VP Choices Just Prior to Announcing!

By Roz Warren, July 15, 2016December 21, 2018

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    [post_content] => The Donald plays 'Who Wants to be a Vice Presidential Candidate?'
By Janet Golden and Roz Warren
Donald: Carly? It’s The Donald. I’m sounding out possible running mates. If I asked you to run with me, would you say yes?
Carly Fiorina: Grateful for the offer, Donald, but no can do. I’ve got blood coming out of my whatever.

Donald: Governor Kasich? It’s The Donald. Do you have a minute?
Kasich: Wish I had time to chat with you, Donald, but the Watchtower folks are at the door and I don't want to keep them waiting.

Donald: Hey Condie! Want to be my running mate?
Condoleezza Rice: I’d rather be crushed to death by a falling piano.

Donald: Jeff? Would you be interested in serving as my Vice President?
Jeff Sessions: I’d love to, Donald, but I’ve got an elderly cat and he hates the cat carrier. I just can’t see making him endure a long flight on Air Force One. But thanks for asking.

Donald: Little Marco? It’s me, big Donald. Want to be my VP?
Marco Rubio: Sorry, Donald, but as we proud Cuban-Americans say, “No, Gracias.”

Donald: Governor? Any chance I could get you to run as my VP?
Nikki Haley: Sorry, but there’s someone on the other line. Gotta go. [click]

Donald: Susana? Want to join my ticket and fly Trump airlines to the White House?
Susana Martinez: Gee I’d love to, but I’m waiting for a new lint filter on my dryer and I can’t be in Washington when they come to install it.

Donald: Hey Doc -- want to run with me?
Ben Carson: You do realize that I know even less about foreign policy than you do?
Donald: Who cares? Running this country ain’t brain surgery.
Ben Carson: It’s not? Okay then, I’m in! Did you know that I once almost killed a guy with a knife?
Donald: [click].

Donald: Vince? We met when you attended my rally in West Chester in April, and I’m hearing great things about your work with the block party committee. Really great. As I understand it, you folks built a huge barrier out of orange tape and got the city to pay for it. I’m calling to talk to you about a job, Vince. A huge job. A terrific job. A job that isn’t for losers. What do you say, Vince? Are you with me?
Vince: [Click].

(This piece first appeared on HumorOutcasts.)
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The Donald plays ‘Who Wants to be a Vice Presidential Candidate?’ By Janet Golden and Roz Warren Donald: Carly? It’s The Donald. I’m sounding out possible running mates. … Read more

It’s Official: Melania Trump is a ‘Public Health Crisis’

By Michael Egan, July 13, 2016July 22, 2016

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    [post_content] => Red-faced GOP's anti-pornography amendment would ban images of America’s future First Model, Melania Trump.
NYC – Republican Party leaders were crimson-faced yesterday after their platform committee adopted an “anti-pornography” amendment censoring well-known images of Mrs Melania Trump.

 As Donald Trump’s third wife, Mrs Trump is of course also America’s presumptive First-Lady-in-Waiting.

However, old photographs of Mrs Trump posing suggestively are generally available online and elsewhere, creating considerable embarrassment within the GOP over their adopted platform.

Some members say that her displays of public nudity exemplify the very “public health crisis” denounced by their platform committee. One member derisively called her the nation's "First Model."

According to North Carolina delegate Mary Frances Forrester, who successfully proposed the amendment, “Like Mr Justice Potter said, we all know porn when we see it, and that’s what I see when I look at them pictures.

“And so does my a-hole husband, never mind my teenage son. Melania gave them both enormous hard-ons.”

Mrs Forrester added that even by less subjective, “more scientific” standards, Melania’s pictures were obscene. She noted that they have no redeeming artistic value, are calculated to deprave and corrupt, appeal to the prurient interest and definitely outrage rural community standards.

"Let’s face it," she wound up, "they are simply meant to make young boys whack off. I rest my case.”

Asked by a reporter about her husband’s hard-on, she blushed and said, “Hypocrisy is the tribute shame pays to virtue.”
    [post_title] => It's Official: Melania Trump is a 'Public Health Crisis'
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Red-faced GOP’s anti-pornography amendment would ban images of America’s future First Model, Melania Trump. NYC – Republican Party leaders were crimson-faced yesterday after their platform committee adopted an … Read more

How to Make a Political Platform Progressive

By Jim Hightower, July 13, 2016August 21, 2019

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    [post_content] => Fresh from working on the Democratic national platform committee, Jim Hightower reports.
An old cowboy aphorism offers this advice: "Speak the truth. But ride a fast horse."

I relived this truism last weekend in Orlando, Florida, where I spent two hot, muggy days wrangling over policy issues as one of the members of the Democratic Party's national platform committee. Depending on the moment and the issue, the experience was both invigorating and infuriating, with refreshing outbreaks of broad and bold democratic vision, interspersed with too many rigid, Tammany Hall tactics used to dictate corporate-friendly policies.

Bernie Sanders' 40-percent minority of platform members (of which I was one) managed to "Bern" the platform with more than two dozen big and very important amendments. As a result, instead of the same old business-as-usual blah-blah of party platforms, Democrats and their nominee, Hillary Clinton, are now on public record in support of the most progressive policy agenda in decades.

More about those specific policies in a moment, but first, let's get on that horse.

The worst development at the Orlando meeting was the Clinton campaign's acquiescence to the wet dream of global corporate powers: The Trans-Pacific Partnership. The platform's draft language on this horrendous TPP trade scam actually seemed to endorse it! So Sanders' forces went all out to replace such a pusillanimous surrender with an amendment to flat-out kill TPP.

I sponsored the Sanders alternative, dubbing it "a form of political Viagra to stiffen the spine of our party." Our amendment prompted panicky parliamentary manipulations by Clintonites to doctor their language so it would be a bit less wimpy -- and also to block my amendment from even being considered. But Sanders' savvy policy staff outflanked them, so we forced them to debate and vote on our proposal -- in view of C-SPAN's national TV audience.

Of course, with their controlling percentage of committee members (plus strict orders from their campaign's command center that all Clinton members must vote "no"), we lost the vote 104-71.

Nonetheless, against all odds, we advanced the progressive cause by forcing the corporate interests into public view, getting four out of every 10 members to vote for killing TPP, and energizing our base to carry this hot issue directly to grassroots voters this fall and beyond. Sometimes, progress comes from a stubborn determination to stand on principle.

Sam Rayburn, a longtime speaker of the U.S. House who hailed from my home district in Texas, once declared: "Every now and then a politician ought to do something just because it's right."

As a member of the Democratic Party's platform committee, I saw many examples of that adage at work in the committee's recent meeting to hammer out an agenda to take to the people in this year's elections. While there were plenty of disagreements and a lot of free-floating passion ripping through the hall where center-clinging Clintonites and populist Bernie-istas tried to find common ground -- there was a remarkable lack of the sort of sour, personal animosity that usually gets in the way of group progress. A myriad of policies were adopted (or rejected) that I don't like, but -- hello -- consider just a few of the major progressive breakthroughs that came out of the Orlando confab:

 	The creation of a nationwide jobs initiative that will hire millions of our people to rebuild and expand America's crumbling infrastructure.
 	Increasing the national minimum wage to $15 an hour.
 	Breaking up too-big-to-fail Wall Street banks.
 	Making public colleges tuition-free for working class families.
 	Expanding Social Security.
 	Making it harder for CEOs to block workers from joining unions.
 	Reestablishing postal banks in our public post offices to give low-income families affordable banking and an alternative to predatory lenders.
 	Encouraging new power plants to use renewable energies rather than shale gas from BigOil's destructive fracking wells.
 	Expanding community health centers to reach 25 million more uninsured families, requiring Medicare to negotiate with BigPharma to lower our drug prices, and encouraging states to provide universal health care.
 	Decriminalizing marijuana, eliminating for-profit prisons and detention centers, and abolishing the death penalty.
 	Eliminating SuperPacs, moving to public financing of elections, providing automatic voter registration, and making election day a national holiday.

Of course, party platforms are not actual laws and programs, but statements of principles and intent. They are important as blueprints for organizing grassroots support and as specific makers for holding elected officials accountable. Making it all happen is up to us, for progressive change always has to be pushed from the bottom up -- so let's get moving.
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Fresh from working on the Democratic national platform committee, Jim Hightower reports. An old cowboy aphorism offers this advice: “Speak the truth. But ride a fast horse.” I … Read more