We Americans Are All Angry Birds
If you’re not pissed, you’re not paying attention. We’re all riled up, angry birds. Arrrggh! Grrrrr! The sound of many teeth gnashing. Foot stamping. Fist pounding. Heavens shouting. … Read more
election
Airline Pilot, Responsible for Thousands of Lives, to Vote Trump in November
“He’s the only man who can lead this country forward,” says airline pilot with a straight face. BALTIMORE — According to multiple reports out today, Cpt. Fred Staples, … Read more
Trump on Fox: Tax Returns ‘Creatively Fraudulent,’ Shouldn’t Have to Publish
‘This is exactly the kind of hypocritical dishonesty we want from an American president!’ said Sean Hannity during an interview with Trump on his tax returns. NYC – … Read more
For 18th Time Today, Hillary Clinton Asks Aide if Bernie Has Conceded Yet
“It’s my turn. Everyone knows it’s my turn, except him.” – Clinton WASHINGTON — A campaign aide confirmed reports Hillary Clinton had asked her for the eighteenth time … Read more
Paul Ryan Denies Trump-Hitler Connection
Ryan notes that “The Donalini” has promised to be on his best behavior from now until the election. The Dredge Report has learned that some knowledgeable Republicans in … Read more
Trump Makes His Pick: Silvio Berlusconi for Vice-President
‘He’s the King of Vice, after all,’ says Trump Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, shocked the party establishment and ended months of speculation by picking … Read more
We, Who Are About to be Beaten with the Ugly Stick, Salute You
How ugly will the presidential race get? Think randomly-shaved rat-terrier with a fourth premolar infection, mange and a lazy eye… ugly. Oh dear. Not pretty. Yes. Already. The … Read more
Lucifer in the House
John Boehner may have called Ted Cruz “Lucifer,” but the GOP is not exactly exhibiting a ton of enthusiasm for Donald Trump, either. One of the oddest moments … Read more
Lucifer, in the Flesh, Welcomes Comparison to Cruz
Satanic Council defiantly embraces Ted Cruz: ‘The miserable son of a bitch is a natural for us!’ says Lucifer. HADES – The Satanic Council today “totally rejected” claims … Read more
Trump Wins Big with Americans Regretting Not Growing Up in 1930s Germany
Donald Trump pledges to blame socialists and Democrats when the Capitol Building is burned down shortly after he becomes president. WASHINGTON — Today, Republican presidential candidate and fascism-friendly … Read more
