This Week in Election Poly Ticks
Only 70 weeks before the election! Run for your lives, people, because it’s complete chaos out there. In the pre-summer rush to wrangle positive press, current presidential candidates, … Read more
election
John McCain Goes All John McClane
Pissed about ISIS, Senator John McCain ambushes the President On Sunday, like a rabid baboon, Senator John McCain emerged from the bushes and launched a vicious attack on … Read more
Top 11 Reasons Being POTUS is So Darn Cool
Why would any sane person choose to run the gauntlet to be POTUS? As it appears we’re smack dab in the middle of the 2016 presidential campaign announcement … Read more
Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates
The 2016 Presidential Election is rolling out candidates with snail-like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential … Read more
Crazy Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz: First sighting of a red nose popping out of the presidential wannabe clown car. Winter is over! Winter is over! Excuse the jubilation, but we ink-stained … Read more
Would-Be Pontiff Ted Cruz Turns Blood to Ice
Ted Cruz candidacy ‘a Miracle,’ say Tea Party activists Washington, DC — Following reports earlier today that Pope Francis had performed a “miracle” by turning an amulet of … Read more
A Bush vs Clinton Rematch
It’ll likely be Bush vs Clinton again. Comedians everywhere are rejoicing. You might want to stuff your pants pockets with sand and hang onto the rail as the … Read more
Romney Exit Clears Path for Other GOP Candidates to Lose
Door now open for a large number of exciting dark horse GOP candidates to blow it. DES MOINES, Iowa — After announcing he will no longer seek the … Read more
Sarah Palin Hires Track Coach to Prepare for Presidential Run
Mavericky former half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin preparing to run ‘a long way.’ WASILLA, Alaska – Maverick former half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin, a one-time Republican vice-presidential nominee, … Read more
Bushes: 3, U.S.: 0
Our little Jeb Bush caterpillar is now one step closer to being a big, bad, beautiful butterfly. Still recovering from the sonic bombshell dropped by Jeb Bush, announcing … Read more
