New poll numbers may be Trump's Wet Dream, but there are other 'counts' that are funnier!
For example, check out these 'poll numbers':
TRUMP'S RALLY COUNT - Always, always off by 100,000!
And the rest is mylittle Obsessive/Compulsive problem:
SPERM COUNT - of course that would be my 1st one! haha
HEAD COUNT - 165 Million U.S. Males times 2!
ORGASM COUNT - Infinitude, Dude! And, some even without Batteries!
BODY COUNT - I don't know. The last orgy I went to I was too busy at 'Coat Check' to notice!
PILL COUNT - Damn - I dated a Pharmacist once & he gave me exactly 3 kisses!
McDONALD'S HAMBURGER COUNT - I think I had the 1st one!
CALORIE COUNT - I had to get an Accountant after I found out I'm in a Higher Calorie Bracket!
SPARERIB COUNT - Chinese restaurants never give you more than 5 - no matter how many Quarters you tip!
SHRIMP COUNT - Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is the funniest on this subject!
SHEEP COUNT - Never works for me - I'm too busy thinking about their Dry Cleaning Bill!
CHICKEN NUGGET COUNT - Ingredients unknown, but can be tested at The Mayo Clinic!
STAR COUNT - Look down & notice you were just Pickpocked!
BLESSINGS COUNT - You can't get enough of them!
BLOOD COUNT - Count Dracula doesn't count!
CARD COUNT - Too much trouble! I just spill my drink & grab someone's chips!
COOKIE COUNT - If you're into this, you're not eating them fast enough!
STEPS COUNT - 'The Statue of Liberty' BEATS 'Eiffel Tower' 354 to 300 steps & then a lift to the top. And, that's where I left my Lunch!
'LIKES' COUNT - A measure of a man or a mouse!
FACEBOOK FRIENDS COUNT - A true measure of your acquaintances!
SNEEZE COUNT - When I watch a person having multiple sneezes I also diagnose!
1 Sneeze: DUST
2 Sneezes: PEPPER
3 Sneezes/Peed also: 'CAT LADY'
4 Sneezes: ORGASM
5 Sneezes: YOU'RE JUST WEIRD!
And, 'SWEAR JAR' COUNT - Ask me after the Election!
[post_title] => Trump's Poll Numbers Are Up, but Who's Counting?
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New poll numbers may be Trump’s Wet Dream, but there are other ‘counts’ that are funnier! For example, check out these ‘poll numbers’: TRUMP’S RALLY COUNT – Always, always off … Read more
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to
The news, even that about RFJ Jr and Oliva Nuzzi, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
[caption id="attachment_122541" align="aligncenter" width="750"] JFK Jr, Cheryl Hines and Oliva Nuzzi.[/caption]
RFK Jr boasted over ‘nude pics’ of NY Magazine reporter, Oliva Nuzzi, as her former fiancé reveals they have parted ways
His spouse Cheryl Hines' next show should be called "Throw Him to Curb."
Rabbi, Muslim leader to join Pope on trip
I can't be only one hoping at some point they walk into a bar.
Sean Combs arrested
So, looks like it’ll be up to a jury to decide: Diddy or Diddyn’t he?
Republicans continue to endorse Kamala
So, Trump now knows what it’s like when someone leaves you for a younger woman.
NFL Football analyst Mel Kipper believes two-high safeties "should be outlawed”
I thought the NFL already banned being that …
Study: People hate happy couples on Facebook
… Not as much as I hate them out in public.
Scientists may have been exposed to Anthrax in labs
Hey, it's not as cruel as exposing them to Techno Pop.
New Hampshire Governor race has record spending
Making it the "Not Being Taken For Granite State."
Florida teacher uses legs to put 3-year-old in headlock during story time, deputies say
In fairness, it was all tied up in a best of two-out-of-three match.
The moon is 100 million years younger than thought
So, I guess it doesn't look so good for its age after all.
Trump ally Laura Loomer’s racist comments draw rebuke from Marjorie Taylor Greene
This is like Jeffrey Dahmer complaining about the menu at a Donner family reunion.
Arizona man blows Lego dot out of nose after 26 years: 'I can breathe now’
I feel bad for the person who immediately stepped on it and hurt their foot.
US nuclear regulator has not gotten application for Three Mile Island restart
Maybe, they’re having a melt-down ...
Sarah Huckabee Sanders is mad at Kamala for not having biological kids
… While the rest of us are mad at Mike Huckabee for having them ...
[post_title] => Ripping the Headlines Today, 9/23/24
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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about RFJ Jr and Oliva Nuzzi, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; … Read more
The French philosopher Rene Descartes wrote, “I think, therefore I am,” but thinking just gets us men into trouble.
Thinking is defined as “the process of using one’s mind to consider or reason about something.” The definition brings to mind Rodin’s sculpture of a nude male figure sitting on a rock with his chin resting on one hand while supposedly meditating about some lofty philosophical idea. Some say the statue was originally intended to depict Dante at the gates of Hades contemplating his celebrated poem. That may be the case, but I suspect he is just trying to remember who he partied with the night before and where the hell he left his clothes.
[caption id="attachment_121547" align="alignleft" width="400"] “I think, therefore I am.” 1907 painting of The Thinker by Edvard Munch (cropped), Public Domain.[/caption]
Women probably find it odd that “The Thinker” sculpture is male. They tend to believe that men don’t think that often or that deeply. This is not true. Men are always thinking. It’s just that we aren’t always thinking about what we are doing.
Or we aren’t mulling over the consequences of our actions, such as when we attach our tongues to frozen objects to see if it will get stuck or when we touch the plate which the waitress has just told us not to touch because it is very hot (all men do this, we consider it a dare). Few of us are in the same league as Aristotle but we do think. We just don’t talk much.
And why do we speak so little? It’s because we don’t want people to know what’s really going on inside our heads. Duh! During the day our thoughts turn (in no particular order) to: work, family, sex, beer, sports, sex, cheeseburgers and sex, sex, sex. Note, we have a lot of impure thoughts. We don’t want others to know about these thoughts, so we don’t talk about them. They say that males think about sex 8,000 times a day which leaves little time for talking anyway.
Men survive by holding their tongues and hiding their emotions. We can control what we say, what we e-mail and what we tweet (well, not all of us). But we can’t control our thoughts.
The French philosopher Rene Descartes wrote, “I think, therefore I am,” which meant that, since he could contemplate things, he must exist. He wrote this in the 17th century before television and the internet when there wasn’t much else to do except meditate about weird philosophical stuff. Thinking may prove we exist but someday just thinking could be problematic.
In the future technology may encroach on our musings. Facebook is developing a computer to brain interface that would allow people to type 100 words per minute just using their thoughts. It is supposed to make us more efficient. I have my doubts. Here is what a memo from Joe in accounting will probably look like using such an interface:
Income from continuing operations was $1.33 per share. Wow, that new girl in marketing is really hot. The company also recorded the cumulative effect of a, I shouldn’t have had that last cup of coffee, now I have to pee like a racehorse, change in an accounting principle of $.27 per share. My boss is such a douchebag, resulting in, what did my wife ask me to pick up on the way home? Was it milk or beer? I think it was beer, net income of $1.06 per share.
The typing may be faster but the editing will be a nightmare.
I don’t like where Facebook is going with this, but the futurist Elon Musk, really worries me. He has developed Tesla, the electric car, the Hyperloop high speed transportation system, and the SpaceX rocket with which he hopes to colonize Mars. These are amazing inventions. (I find his achievements remarkable, since I can’t even make my toilet stop running.)
However, the mission of his latest enterprise, Neuralink, a human-computer brain interface company, scares the bejesus out of me. The company plans to turn cloud-based artificial intelligence into an extension of our brains. I know where this is headed…. human to human telepathy. Could this be the next step in the evolution of mankind? Men would seldom care what other people are thinking, although it would come in pretty handy during poker games. However, this is a weapon that wives/girlfriends could use with devastating effect.
Imagine walking on the beach with your wife and seeing a beautiful young woman in a skimpy bikini walking toward you. You can try to think about baseball all you want. It isn’t going to work. You are going to get slapped… twice.
Fortunately, there are a few anti-telepathy measures that men may be able to employ in the future to keep their minds from being read.
Probably the most effective protection would be to wear an aluminum foil hat (aluminum yarmulke if you’re Jewish). It is widely believed that this will shield your brain from mind readers. Only do this after mind reading becomes a real thing, otherwise you will look like an idiot.
An alternative defense is to learn and think in an obscure language. I recommend Lemerig, which is spoken by only two people in Vanuatu. Learn it and then avoid those two people.
Another telepathic barrier you could use is to continually play songs by The Carpenters in your head. This will ensure that no one reads your mind for very long, although you will drive yourself crazy.
And finally, you could do what most politicians have done, which is to stop thinking entirely.
Maybe humans will never achieve the power of telepathy, but people -- especially men -- need to be prepared, just in case -- or our thoughts could get us into big trouble.
[post_title] => I Think, Therefore I Am... In Big Trouble
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The French philosopher Rene Descartes wrote, “I think, therefore I am,” but thinking just gets us men into trouble. Thinking is defined as “the process of using one’s … Read more
Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it's The Jerry Duncan Show.
[caption id="attachment_108268" align="alignleft" width="400"] Mark Zuckerberg. Caricature by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com.[/caption]
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We'll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.
MARK ZUCKERBERG
I'm Tinky Winky, the purple Teletubby. I'm the biggest of the four. I dine on McDonald's triple cheeseburgers with my friend Donald Trump. We call him Noo-Noo, because he's orange.
MARK
Sorry, Mr. Duncan. I was FaceTiming a story with my little daughter.
JERRY
No problem. Thanks for being here.
MARK
I'll regret it.
JERRY
Absolutely. You'll wish you were in the hot seat in Congress again.
JERRY
You're 39 years old. At 23, you became the world's youngest self-made billionaire. You are the 11th wealthiest person in the world.
MARK
It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor. At the end of the day, it's night. But it's nice to know I have $85 billion dollars and you don't. Na na na na na.
JERRY
I'll pretend I didn't hear that, nerd.
JERRY
You've had your share of lawsuits. Had to settle a case with three men for 1.2 million shares of Facebook, and $20 million in cash for pilfering a business idea that made you millions when you were at Harvard.
MARK
I made up for my discretions, Duncan. I established the Chan Zuckerberg initiative to help the global economy by transforming lives of the underprivileged.
JERRY
Chan? Did you really say Chan?
MARK
Yep.
JERRY
Any relation to Charlie Chan? I love his old movies.
MARK
Not that Chan. My wife Priscilla Chan. Old Chinese saying around our house. "Man who eat many prunes get run for money."
JERRY
I also have a saying. "Don't barf in the Apple Store, because they don't have Windows."
MARK
I don't get it.
JERRY
Call Bill Gates. But I'm warning you, Bill is in a bad mood. He's still upset his ex-wife kept the house, and he just got the windows.
MARK
Not good.
JERRY
The American public has concerns. You don't have control over the content of your company. Anybody can spread lies and you give them a platform. The Russians interfered with our elections in 2016 and 2020. The Chinese did the same thing in the 2022 midterm. What's up with that?
MARK
It wasn't a threat to democracy.
A call comes through that is heard on the console.
JERRY
Speaking of threats to democracy, Republican Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene wants to join our conversation.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE
Hey, Zuckerberg. What's the big idea of suspending me on Facebook? I told the truth about mask mandates being like the Holocaust.
MARK
You repeatedly violated our rules about spreading misinformation.
GREENE
You're stupid. Does underpants protect you from a fart? I have free speech. It's in the Thirtieth Amendment.
JERRY
(Shakes head in disbelief)
Did anyone ever tell you that you're a moron?
GREENE
Just my parents.
JERRY
C'mon. There's got to be more people.
GREENE
Okay...my kids.
JERRY
Tell the truth, Blunder Woman.
GREENE
Congress, the American public, God. Are you satisfied?
JERRY
I am.
GREENE
Good. I have an important message for your listeners.
JERRY
Go ahead.
GREENE
(to listeners)
If you've been a victim of Jewish space lasers, call 1-800-445-6300.
MARK
You're an anti-Semite!
GREENE
My fearless leader Donald Trump said, "There are very good people on both sides."
JERRY
Not on your side, QAnon mom. Mark Zuckerberg and Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene everyone. See you tomorrow.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
[post_title] => The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Mark Zuckerberg
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Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. ANNOUNCER Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. JERRY DUNCAN … Read more
The JCPA is a good idea, but Congress must ensure it provides for local journalism not for more of the "Monopoly-Go-Round."
A July appeal on the front page of my local newspaper, The Austin American-Statesman, shamelessly screamed for public assistance: "Tell your members of Congress to support the JCPA and save local news." The Journalism Competition and Preservation Act is a modest proposal meant to protect local papers from having their journalism pillaged by such thieving Big Tech monopolists as Facebook and Google. It would require them to start paying for news stories and other content they now essentially steal from local journalists, giving our hometown papers a better chance of survival in the critical public service of news delivery. Good!
But, uh-oh, here come SoftBank, Alden, Chatham et al, scheming to funnel future JCPA payments meant for local journalism straight up to their bank vaults. Bad! They're trying to take us on a dizzying spin aboard the Monopoly-Go-Round, twisting a law intended to fight exploitation by tech monopolists into a tool enabling financial monopolists to tighten their stranglehold on local journalism. At a minimum, JCPA must be amended to mandate that any and all revenue it provides for local journalism actually stays local and pays for journalism.
The general claim of SoftBank and the other money syndicates is that most people no longer value print media enough to subscribe and sustain a broad network of local papers, so contraction, consolidation and homogenization are just good business practices. They add that they should be hailed as media heroes for salvaging some remnants of local journalism in their investment portfolios.
Before they break their arms patting themselves on the back, let's note that, ONE, actual surveys of local people reveal that they do in fact value hometown newspapers and resent that theirs has been diminished or liquidated, feeling a deep loss of community power and connection; TWO, readers quit subscribing to these remnants because they're nothingpapers, empty news calories that don't inform, enliven or unify; and, THREE, the gross cuts the syndicates are making -- even as they jack up prices -- are not for the survival of the papers they own, but for the extravagant enrichment of themselves, the funds' investor elite, who demand an untenable 30%-and-up annual return, rather than a more honest profit of around 8% to 10% that could allow for more top-quality journalism for America.
And there's the rub. Maximization of profits for the very few (Monopoly-Go-Round) is wholly contrary to the greater good of maximizing news and democracy for the many. Independent, free-ranging journalism is an essential public necessity for a democratic people (which is why the one enterprise singled out in the Constitution for supreme protection is the free press). But town after town has now learned that the press is not free if theirs is just another profit center for hedge fund hucksters.
It's a personal loss to have your local newspaper shut down (or just be reduced to a waste of paper), but the greatest loss is in civic power. Despite shortcomings, a decent newspaper is a community's main repository of shared information, its broadest public forum for shaping and monitoring a common agenda and its principal outlet for exposing and rallying opposition to corporate and governmental corruption. No other medium does that. Sure, there's the internet (so sketchy in so many ways) and there's TV "news," but come on -- it's not even deep enough to be called shallow, and the news snippets it does present are mostly taken from newspapers. Americans have lost a quarter of our local papers just since 2005, with an average of two more folding every week and nearly every survivor cutting back to a fraction of what it was.
[post_title] => The Monopoly-Go-Round
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The JCPA is a good idea, but Congress must ensure it provides for local journalism not for more of the “Monopoly-Go-Round.” A July appeal on the front page … Read more
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to
The news, even that about the Republican effort to “Defund the FBI,” doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
[caption id="attachment_102703" align="aligncenter" width="750"] Republicans now want to defund the FBI for enforcing the law.[/caption]
‘Defund the FBI!’ - Republicans speak out against raid of Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate
MAGA’s so mad at the law enforcement that NASCAR drivers gonna start taking a knee before the National Anthem.
R Kelly’s family mad he’s in jail
Makes sense. Now, when they wish they could fly, they can only afford to go economy class!
Nebraska police obtained Facebook messages about teen's alleged abortion
Trump just did what he said guilty people and the mob do: plead the Fifth… 450+ times
Trump looks so guilty, that when they cart him off, look for him to get a fist bump from Biden.
Smallpox vaccine is effective against Monkeypox
Although, we’ll need an Extra Large Pox vaccine if there’s a breakout of Gorilla Pox.
Ben Affleck was reportedly upset over the paparazzi
In fairness, maybe they thought Matt Damon was on the way.
David McCullough, American historian, two-time Pulitzer and Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient, dies at 89
Damn, ‘David McCullough is history’ now has a whole different meaning today. God Speed.
Trump had the chance to kill Al Qaeda's leader but didn't because he didn't recognize the name, report says
At least, that proves he heard of Mike Pence.
Lawsuit accuses Dodgers security of attacking fans
… just put Bellinger in charge, he can’t hit anything.
Nick Cannon confirms he is expecting more kids: 'The stork is on the way'
Enough, already! Elon Musk and Nick Cannon need to join a dating site called ‘SNIPPD.’
DOJ probing Trump
Word is, the DOJ is probing Trump so hard Lindsey Graham went ‘Ouch’
Padres star Tatis suspended 80 games for positive PED drug test
On the upside, he’ll be available for next year’s Kentucky Derby.
Republican Wisconsin activist says he committed voter fraud to expose potential voter fraud
… Which is the same rationale Prince Andrew used to try getting his ban lifted from Chuck E Cheese.
U.S. economy adds 528,000 jobs in July, unemployment rate falls to 3.5%
… Would've been 528,001 but Rudy Giuliani still can't practice law …
[post_title] => Ripping the Headlines Today, 8/16/22
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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about the Republican effort to “Defund the FBI,” doesn’t need to be complicated … Read more
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:
Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
Facebook announces name change to Meta in rebranding effort
Which is short for “Met a FBI Agent Who Scared the S*** Out Us.”
Japan's Princess Mako marries after years of controversy, giving up her royal status
... Boy, this will piss off Piers Morgan ...
Texas residents rip teachers on Holocaust remark: 'There are not two sides to a genocide.’
Unless ‘Horribly Wrong’ and ‘F**king Horribly Wrong’ count as two sides.
Manchin seemingly on board for BBB Bill
Not saying Manchin had a big influence on the new bill but it’s now called “Build. Back. Better. With Coal.”
DC’s talks new Superman coming out as bisexual
Shouldn’t that be AC/DC’s new Superman?
Marijuana use could make COVID breakthrough cases more likely
Or, maybe folks are just forgetting that they didn’t get the vaccine …
Wisconsin audit shows Biden won … again
Biden’s now racked up more wins in Wisconsin than Bo Schembechler.
Dave Chappelle mocks trans jokes controversy: 'I haven't been in this much trouble in my life'
So, here’s betting Chappelle won’t be touring Transylvania.
West Coast slammed by record-breaking bomb cyclone
Or, to paraphrase Bob Dylan: You don’t have to be a weatherman to know anything called a Bomb cycle blows.
Donald Trump does tomahawk chop at World Series Game 4 in Atlanta
Trump did the tomahawk chop. Although, given his tiny hand size it was more like the ‘tomthumbahawk chop.’
Kentucky high school staff members got lap dances from students, photos appear to show
In fairness, in Kentucky it’s ok if the students and teachers are related.
Prosecutors drop felony charge against man accused of 43 cent soda theft
Lucky for him, his sentence could've been ‘Coke Zero to Life.’
Glenn Youngkin doesn't want Trump to come to Virginia and Trump agreed
… Because, ‘Yes, Virginia, there is an ‘insanity cause’ …
[post_title] => Ripping the Headline Today, 11/2/21
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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, … Read more
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to
The news, including that about Prince Charming and his kisses, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
[caption id="attachment_94059" align="aligncenter" width="750"] Snow White ride faces backlash over Prince Charming kiss.[/caption]
Disneyland Snow White ride faces backlash over Prince Charming kiss
If you think Snow White and Prince Charming are problematic, just be glad Al Franken wasn’t around fake touching her boobs and saying, "Honk, Honk."
Romney warns removing Cheney from House leadership will cost GOP election votes
... especially if her dad takes them hunting.
Bob Baffert blamed "cancel culture" after his horse, Medina Spirit, who won the Kentucky Derby, failed its post-race drug test
On the upside, Cancel Culture is great name for a horse.
Melinda Gates is now a billionaire
So, the GoFundMe is off?
Devin Nunes’s Attorney sanctioned, ordered to pay CNN $21,000 for filing ‘frivolous’ defamation lawsuit
A lesson to all, see what happens when you have a cow over a cow?
Members are quitting Mar-a-Lago because it has become a 'sad' and 'dispirited' place since Trump moved in, author says
The way things are going, soon Trump will be a man without a country... club.
Tomi Lahren: This weekend people threw eggs at me and called me ‘Nazi Barbie’
Guess she won’t be going to anymore family reunions for a while.
8 NY Yankees came down with Covid-19
Y’know, it wasn’t the Minnesota Twins; they can’t even catch a cold.
Mississippi discontinuing the extra 300-dollar federal unemployment supplement
… mostly in fear a couple of people might pool together and buy the state.
Facebook insists a kid’s version of Instagram will be safe
... while I worry about anything with the words Insta and Gram.
Feds probing Roger Stone, Alex Jones over roles in Capitol riot
I’d prefer it was extraterrestrials, but this will have to do.
Marjorie Taylor Greene challenges Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to debate over Green New Deal
So, it'd be ‘Green New Deal’ vs. ‘Greene Thinks She's a Big Deal.’
Google is saving over $1 billion a year with employees working from home and not traveling for business
True, I Googled it...
Attorney for Capitol defendant Anthony Antonio said his client had “Foxitus” and “Foxmania” from watching six months of Fox News
... or, as it’s also known, the “Moronavirus” …
[post_title] => Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/18/21
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[post_modified] => 2021-05-17 22:17:34
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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, including that about Prince Charming and his kisses, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; … Read more
Come on, Republicans, we beseech you, put on your big boy Pence and impeach Trump.
The best defense is a good offense, and Trump certainly is offensive.
[caption id="attachment_81411" align="alignleft" width="400"] We beseech you impeach! Photo by Joakim Honkasalo on Unsplash.[/caption]
Hiss-story is filled with snakes in the grass.
Assassinations on foreign soil? Does Trump think he's Vladimir Putin?
Liars diss proof, scoundrels diss honor, and cowards diss courage.
The GOP party-line keeps making "phoney" calls.
Daze of whine and poses.
In '16 Trump ran angry. In '20 he's running scared!
I long for the good old days, when the lunatic fringe was obscene but not heard.
Weinstein, a predator throughout his career, threw out his career.
Don't be victimidated.
ReSISTERS fight for equal rights and Me Too!
Just call it FARCEBOOK since it's run by a clown.
One-percenters own US to bone US.
Climate change is everything.
Petrol the environment at your own risk.
A smart man answers questions, a wise man questions answers.
Every religion believes it's rite.
Careful! If you make a mountain out of a molehill you might never get over it.
Live your life or die trying.
[post_title] => This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: We Beseech, You Impeach!
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Come on, Republicans, we beseech you, put on your big boy Pence and impeach Trump. The best defense is a good offense, and Trump certainly is offensive. Hiss-story … Read more
"Superrichinoids" have an irrational, insatiable desire to accumulate boundless personal wealth, making them the weirdest species of all.
I love nature shows on TV. They take you into the jungles, the ocean depths, the deserts, the frozen poles and our own backyards to probe the behavior and intellects of our fellow creatures and the cosmic forces that shape them.
However, there's one exotic creature the shows have ignored, and it is crying out for scientific analysis: Humanoid superrichinoids. While some in this rare species act somewhat normal, simpatico with us homo sapiens, as a group, the superrichinoids exhibit aberrant, socially destructive tendencies. In particular, this weirdest species has an irrational, insatiable desire to accumulate boundless personal wealth. It's beyond greed, a belief that too much is never enough, that one's net worth is one's true worth and that life is a primal competition to be No. 1, the acknowledged richest of all!
Robert Frank, an analyst of plutocracy, points to the insane competitive zealotry of Larry Ellison, the multibillionaire co-founder of the software giant Oracle. Frank writes that when Ellison learned a rival billionaire was having a 400-foot yacht built (a boat one-third bigger than a football field!), Ellison rushed out to get a 450-foot yacht.
Toys are one thing, but the hyperavarice of the uber-rich, from Jeff Bezos of Amazon to Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, tends to make them feel entitled to exploit rank-and-file workers, crush smaller competitors, cheat on their tax bills, rip off consumers, defraud investors, contaminate our environment, buy elections and government favoritism, monopolize markets -- and then demand to be publicly celebrated and idolized.
But guess what? The wannabe demigods are wimps! Now that their freakish greed is being denounced by the American majority and directly challenged by such democratic champions as Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, the Wall Street and Silicon Valley royals are squealing like pigs stuck in a fence. Their grossly exaggerated sense of self-worth is being openly mocked. I suspect their whimpering is due to their finally realizing that the mockery is deserved ... and they can't handle the reality.
We've got to quit celebrating and catering to these flighty corporate profiteers and get back to building a real economy based on the productivity and true genius of America's grassroots entrepreneurs and workers. The glue that holds our diverse society together is the egalitarian ethic of the Common Good. As my ol' Texas daddy used to put it to me, "Everybody only does better when everybody does better."
Are you doing better yet? Probably not. Look at what it takes today to be in the top 1 percent. It's the dream of many social climbers to be so rich that they can exit the humdrum bottom 99 percent, rising above us commoners to join the swells whose yearly income ranks them in the top percentile. Maybe you've had a good year, bringing in one, two, three or even four hundred thousand bucks. But, nope ... not there yet. The latest income data shows that it takes a paycheck of $515,000 a year to dwell with the elite at the peak.
Actually, that just makes you sorta rich. To join the richest 1 percent of the 1-percenters, that weirdest species of all, you now need an annual income of $2.4 million. But to rise to the tippy-top of the really richy-rich -- the top 0.001 percent -- your income has to be above $63 million a year. That's an exclusive club of superrichinoids with only 1,433 members.
Meanwhile, back down here on Earth, it's harder and harder for working families to make ends meet, even with full-time jobs. The corporate chieftains, media and politicians keep citing low joblessness as evidence that the economy is humming, but getting work no longer means getting a decent paycheck. In fact, the fastest-growing job categories today are low-wage, no-benefit service positions, which are a primary cause of raging inequality in America.
Indeed, a whole new job category that's showing meteoric growth is called "wealth work." No, not working on Wall Street but a new underclass of poorly paid personal-service workers who beautify, exercise, deliver to, shop for and otherwise tend to the care, feeding, comforts and desires of the rich. The Atlantic reports that job growth for pedicurists, massage therapists, pet caretakers, private cooks, etc. is at least double the overall growth in jobs. Moreover, there's a surge in demand for gift-wrappers, horse exercisers, oyster preparers, animal therapists, sommeliers and such.
We must stop letting the Powers That Be pretend that all is right in America as long as the stock market is booming, jobs (or jobettes) are being created, and the 1-percenters are prospering.
[post_title] => Superrichinoids: The Weirdest Species of All
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“Superrichinoids” have an irrational, insatiable desire to accumulate boundless personal wealth, making them the weirdest species of all. I love nature shows on TV. They take you into … Read more