Trump: ‘Harris Going Balls to the Walz with a Commie Pick!’
The old white guy that turned orange made another bad pun, saying that Harris is going “balls to the Walz” with her VP pick. On Tuesday, presumptive Democratic … Read more
fake news
Hannibal Lecter Stumps for Harris: ‘I’m insane, not crazy!’
“I don’t know how I got involved,” Hannibal Lecter says, “but I’d never vote for that sleazeball Trump.” Harrisburg, PA. — Donald Trump has referenced the name Hannibal … Read more
Fifth Circle of Hell: Preregistration Now Open
Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) With Armageddon fast approaching, you may now preregister for the Fifth Circle of Hell. With Armageddon fast approaching, SNN Damnation correspondent Mortyle … Read more
Beverly Hillbillies File Lawsuit Against J.D. Vance: ‘He makes us look stupid’
Jed Clampett of Beverly Hillbillies fame aims to set the record straight, saying hillbillies are much smarter than J.D. Vance. Beverly Hillbillies Estate, Beverly Hills, CA — Local … Read more
Buttigieg Chosen as VP, Trump Wonders When He Turned ‘Queer’
Trump questions Mayor Pete’s sexual identity: “When did he turn queer?” A leak by the Harris campaign indicates that presumptive Democratic presidential candidate Vice President Kamala D. Harris … Read more
Lazy Americans Feel Left Out of Political Process
“We’re people too!” exclaim lazy Americans. Politicians often talk about the need to create jobs or lower taxes for hardworking Americans, but what about Lazy Americans? Don’t they … Read more
Republicans Fire Back: ‘We’re Not Weird!’
The GOP is on the defensive after Democrats claimed their policy positions are “weird,” with JD Vance leading the charge. Decrying Democrats’ claims that “Republicans are weird,” Sen. … Read more
Trump Addresses America’s ‘Final Election’
Trump tells Christians gathered at “Believers Summit” that, not to worry, this will be the final election. Speaking to a festive crowd of admirers at “The Believers Summit” … Read more
Harris Announces Biden as VP: ‘Saves on Campaign Expenses’
“Why spend money on a graphic designer for new yard signs?” asked Kamala Harris after picking Biden as VP. Late Wednesday night, Kamala Harris, now the presumptive nominee … Read more
Trump Accuses Kamala Harris of Not Being Black
Trump says he’s the only “true-blue Black candidate” in presidential race, accuses Harris of not being black enough. Former President Donald Trump accuses the presumptive Democratic Party nominee … Read more
