NEW! Just in Time for Halloween Snacking! The ‘Gourmet Zombie Guide to International Fine Dining’!

NEW! Just in Time for Halloween Snacking! The ‘Gourmet Zombie Guide to International Fine Dining’!

A zombie fine cuisine guide to Halloween snacking. Due to the success of our hugely popular Gourmet Zombie Guide to Fine Dining in America, we are coming out … Read more

Scary, Scary!

Will Durst, Humor Times

In order to insure your physical security and mental safety, we have compiled a scary list of reasons why Halloween is so monstrously like Election Day. You’re welcome! … Read more

Beware of the Real Gremlins This Season

Jim Hightower, Humor Times

The real spine-chilling gremlins of the season are the office-seeking politicians of the extreme right, demanding votes on Election Day. As we enter another long season of direful … Read more

Local Satanists Deplore ‘War on Halloween’

Local Satanists Deplore ‘War on Halloween’

Say they’re fighting to keep the “Happy” in “Happy Halloween,” and insist that the “War on Halloween” must end. By Carrie Pinkard Local Satanists Gary Slaughter and Bertha … Read more

Lost Journal: Don’t Disturb the Doll Downstairs!

Tim Mollen, Humor Times

Journal entry: August 11, 2008 (age 39) – The Doll Downstairs When you buy your first house, your parents are happy. They’re happy because it means they can … Read more

Lost Journal: Wan Man Plans for a Halloween Tan

Tim Mollen, Humor Times

Journal entry: October 30, 2009 (age 40) – Halloween Tan While deciding on a Halloween costume this year, the most frightening image I could conjure was of me… … Read more

Lost Journal: The Halloween Costume Piece Accords of 1973

Tim Mollen, Humor Times

Journal entry: October 31, 1973 (age 4) – Halloween Costume Accords As I admired my new Halloween costume in the mirror, I said, “Ri ruv Ralloreen.” To play Scooby-Doo, … Read more

Scary Masks: Midterm Elections and Halloween

Will Durst, Humor Times

The midterm elections and Halloween are similar: both events highlight tricks and treats Hey everybody. The Midterms Are Coming! Or rather: the midterms are coming. To be most … Read more

A Tale of Three Titties

A Tale of Three Titties

Tri-boobs for Tridevil she-devil? Now that I’ve let my New York Times subscription lapse, I get most of my news online. When I logged on this morning, this … Read more

Between Birthday and Sympathy: What I Heard and Saw in the Greeting Card Aisles

Between Birthday and Sympathy: What I Heard and Saw in the Greeting Card Aisles

I was once a “Card Guy” – or rather, a greeting card merchandiser. The transition of greeting cards is much like watching the seasons change: Halloween in the … Read more

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