Trump: ‘Black Holidays Matter’
Trump has declared that he’s undergone a review of Black holidays, and there are not enough, so he is establishing a new one. President Trump has been arguing … Read more
holidays
Mass Grave of Mysteriously Destroyed Evergreen Trees Found
Strangely decorated evergreen trees thought to have been cut down in their prime, then discarded after a short time. A mass grave of viciously murdered evergreen trees has … Read more
Special Gifts for Special People
Ho-ho-ho! Wait till you hear about the special gifts I gave some of America’s power elites for Christmas. This special Christmas column is re-gifted to you from last … Read more
The Night Before Trump’s Christmas
“The Night Before Christmas,” updated. “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” more commonly known as “The Night Before Christmas” and “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” from its first line, … Read more
A D.C. Christmas Carol
Lindsay Graham is visited by the ghosts of Christmas in this DC Christmas Carol. This reporter found a visibly shaken Lindsay Graham sitting in a corner booth at … Read more
Escalating Stratagems for Avoiding Overeating This Holiday Season
My strategy for avoiding overeating this year. I will ignore the email that says someone left donuts or cupcakes in the kitchen. I will avoid the kitchen for … Read more
Don’t Feel Up to Carving and Cleaning Your Pumpkins? Let Vegan Zombies Do It for You!
Save yourself the mess and the stress of making your families jack-o-lanterns this Halloween; let Vegan Zombies do it for you! Our non-brain eating team of eager un-deads … Read more
Labor Day 19
Are you kidding? Labor Day 2019? Already? How the hell did that happen? Are you kidding? Labor Day 2019? Already? How the hell did that happen? Didn’t we … Read more
After Xmas Gift Wish List
It’s the one year-ending list worth waiting for: Will Durst’s After Xmas Gift Wish List! Way past time to congratulate the baby Jesus on the anniversary of his … Read more
Dear Anonymous Sender: Thank You for Your Holiday E-Card
Although I cannot recall where I may have met and exchanged business or V cards with you (or someone from your organization), I am extremely grateful for your … Read more
