Sheldon Adelson Receives ‘Worst Investor of the Year’ Award
Vegas Billionaire Sheldon Adelson knows how to make money and he knows how to spend it, or so his financial advisors thought until they finished counting all the … Read more
humor
Lost Journal: My First Thanksgiving
Journal entry: November 27, 1969 (age 6 months) Goo. That’s what I just said to my mom. She correctly interpreted it to mean, “May I please have another … Read more
Giving Tuesday. November 27. Be There.
Philanthropy is entering the 21st Century. Just as Black Friday kicks off the holiday shopping season for brick-and-mortar retailers and Cyber Monday launches the online shopping season, we … Read more
Lord Help Us — Bosses Gone Berserk Over Obamacare
The sky is falling! The end times are upon us! It’s all over for America! And it’s all because of you execrable voters, and the Obamacare you enabled. … Read more
Walmart’s Grey Thursday Leads to ‘I’ve Got to Throw a Lot of Stuff Out Pastel Yellow Tuesday’
The intense focus on post-Thanksgiving retail selling initiated by the “Black Friday” tradition has now been one-upped by Walmart’s new play of starting specials on Thanksgiving night, thus … Read more
Secret to Mayan Calendar Revealed
The Mayan Calendar: Predicting the end of the world as we know it? We are now just about a month away from the end of the world, and … Read more
Exclusive! First-Ever Interview with the Master of All Super Spies, James Bond
James Bond has had a rough life The Humor Times has succeeded in scoring the first ever interview with that icon of masculinity and daring-do, that virile epitome … Read more
Honey Boo Boo Ups Salary Demand to Include Twinkies
Child stars have their limits: No Twinkies is beyond the pale Alana Thompson, the child star of the reality hit (by the lowest standards possible) series Here Comes … Read more
Lost Journal: ‘Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving
Journal entry: November 22, 2006 (age 37) — Thanksgiving poem Why does Christmas get to have all the poems? Here’s one I just dreamed up in a Thanksgiving tryptophan-induced … Read more
Argus Has Fun with the News: Sex-Texting & More
In the news, General Petraeus agreed to face Congress to discuss the Benghazi attack and his sex scandal. He had two mistresses fighting over him and a wife … Read more
