Ripping the Headlines Today, 7/10/24
WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 120870
[post_author] => 1270
[post_date] => 2024-07-10 07:02:00
[post_date_gmt] => 2024-07-10 14:02:00
[post_content] => Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to
The news, even that about Larry the Cat, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:
Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
[caption id="attachment_120872" align="aligncenter" width="1000"]
Larry the Cat, Chief Mouser at 10 Downing Street.[/caption]
‘Chief Mouser’ Larry the Cat welcomes his 6th UK Prime Minister to 10 Downing
… Or, as he’s also known ‘009 Lives.’
Historically unpopular Supreme Court made a historically unpopular decision
Supreme Court used to be the court of last resort. For Clarence Thomas it’s the court of free five-star resorts.
6 takeaways from Biden’s high-stakes interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos
Number one: Passing the first test -- pronouncing Stephanopoulos correctly.
America celebrates 248th birthday on Independence Day
Or, as Canada calls it, "Noisy Fu***in' Downstairs Neighbors Won’t Shut Up Day."
Record setting heat will continue to torment millions of Americans
How hot is it? It’s so hot farmers are harvesting tomato soup.
Brooke Burke urges women over 50 to add 1 thing to workout routine
Y’all gonna wear out Pete Davidson.
Six Flags Roaring Rapids ride malfunction leads guests to leap into the water
And then swim to the nearest injury attorney…
Roman punishment for adultery was often amputation of the nose
So, those sculptures in museums aren't actually broken, they're accurate.
Patrick Bertoletti won the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest
... An actual event where THC is a performance enhancer
Steve Bannon’s inmate number: 05635-509
The winning number for being BLOTTO.
The North Korean Internet shut down
It seems someone cut the string between the two tin cans.
Happy 77th Birthday, Larry David
Or, Bernie Sanders or Christopher Lloyd. You're all the same person, right?
Megyn Kelly blasts Jill Biden
Megyn oughta change her name to Karyn.
U.S adds 206,000 jobs in June
… Although, most of those went to family members of LeBron's hired by the Lakers.
[post_title] => Ripping the Headlines Today, 7/10/24
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => closed
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => ripping-headlines-today-07-10-24-larry-the-cat
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2024-07-10 06:30:25
[post_modified_gmt] => 2024-07-10 13:30:25
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://www.humortimes.com/?p=120870
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
)
Larry the Cat, Chief Mouser at 10 Downing Street.[/caption]
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about Larry the Cat, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what … Read more
Dwayne Johnson clears his conscience.[/caption]
Al Roker vs Hurricane Ida.[/caption]
Bernie Sanders, Larry David.[/caption]
Kendall Jenner[/caption]
