Lucifer, in the Flesh, Welcomes Comparison to Cruz
Satanic Council defiantly embraces Ted Cruz: ‘The miserable son of a bitch is a natural for us!’ says Lucifer. HADES – The Satanic Council today “totally rejected” claims … Read more
parody
Trump Wins Big with Americans Regretting Not Growing Up in 1930s Germany
Donald Trump pledges to blame socialists and Democrats when the Capitol Building is burned down shortly after he becomes president. WASHINGTON — Today, Republican presidential candidate and fascism-friendly … Read more
Billionaire Sheldon Adelson Buys The Onion
The big-bucks GOP donor and casino mogul cited Sunday’s Boston Globe anti-Trump front page as the main motivator to purchase The Onion. LAS VEGAS – Casino billionaire Sheldon … Read more
BREAKING: Koch Brothers Running for President
The Koch brothers have decided that they will have to be the Republican presidential candidates themselves. An anonymous source has informed this reporter that the Koch brothers are … Read more
Trump Plays Hardball for the Baseball Vote: Transcript
The Humor Times has obtained this exclusive transcript of Donald Trump promising to make baseball great again. We’re going to make America’s Game great again. The Dominicans are … Read more
Bernie Sanders Receives $225,000 Debate Invoice from Hillary Clinton
Hillary says speaking invoice includes senior discount for Bernie WASHINGTON — Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont received a response to his proposition … Read more
Panama Papers: Karl Marx Posthumously Awarded Nobel Economics Prize
“The Panama Papers scandal shows that Marx’s analysis of capitalism was tragically accurate.” – Nobel Prize Committee OSLO – Norway’s Nobel Prize Committee announced today that it was … Read more
Republican Party Releases Immigration Policy
Republican’s immigration policy makes waves immediately The Republican Party has finally released its immigration policy platform with regard to immigrants from Mexico and other Latin American countries. Latinos … Read more
Radiohead Demands Ted Cruz Start Using ‘Creep’
Demand seen as part of a trend of bands suggesting songs for politicians like Ted Cruz to use, rather than just demanding they stop using certain tunes. Radiohead … Read more
Corporate Media Begins Adding Fangs to Images of Bernie Sanders
Media seeking to be ‘fair and balanced’ by adding vampire fangs to all images of Bernie Sanders. WASHINGTON — Today, a confidential memo between American corporate media outlets … Read more
