The Machiavellian Guide to Becoming President
This Machiavellian Guide is channeled from the nether worlds to his humble servants Donald Trump and Roger Freed. Note to the historically impaired: Niccolo Machiavelli was a 15th … Read more
president
DNC Offers Suggestions for Making Next Four Years Sail By
Democrats try to mollify despondent voters Responding to an onslaught of “despair mail” from disheartened Democrats longing to fast-forward to November 2020, the Democratic National Committee today released … Read more
Princess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment
‘She just loves having her pussy grabbed by the President-Erect!’ Ivanka wept, referring to Donald’s new housemate, Pam Bondi. ‘It’s not fair! Waah!’ NYC – First Lady-Elect Princess … Read more
Trump to Rename America
‘Rebranding will help make America great again, again’ says minority president-elect Soon-to-be-President-for-life Donald J. Trump announced today that his first official act as President would be to rename … Read more
Future News: Royal Rumble Tarnishes President Trump’s Inauguration
Inauguration turns into wild melee as them damn ‘librals’ tarnish ‘Merca’ Following one of the most contentious political seasons in recent history, tens of thousands of Democrats gathered … Read more
Trump: ‘Jury Still Out’ on Laws of Motion; Media Not Sure
‘It’s little green gremlins that make things move,’ he said. ‘Believe me.’ But members of the media were quick to push back, saying not all gremlins are green. … Read more
Trump Resigns Over Mandatory Reading Assignments from DOD
Donald Trump decided being president would be just too hard President-elect Donald Trump resigned as President Monday, shortly after arriving in Manhattan for a briefing with the Department … Read more
Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet
‘Orwellian Obedience is Ordered to be Ordinarily Observed,’ says first Tenet via Trump Tweet. “We’re going to win so much, you’ll get sick of winning,” begins a statement … Read more
Trump to Sell ‘Indulgences’ in Advance for Federal Crimes
Trump’s plans to monetize his presidency include “Pardons in Advance,” “limited” access to daily CIA briefings, and “ten minutes alone” with Melania’s old shoe collection. NYC – The … Read more
