Trump: ‘Jury Still Out’ on Laws of Motion; Media Not Sure
‘It’s little green gremlins that make things move,’ he said. ‘Believe me.’ But members of the media were quick to push back, saying not all gremlins are green. … Read more
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Trump Resigns Over Mandatory Reading Assignments from DOD
Donald Trump decided being president would be just too hard President-elect Donald Trump resigned as President Monday, shortly after arriving in Manhattan for a briefing with the Department … Read more
Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet
‘Orwellian Obedience is Ordered to be Ordinarily Observed,’ says first Tenet via Trump Tweet. “We’re going to win so much, you’ll get sick of winning,” begins a statement … Read more
Trump to Sell ‘Indulgences’ in Advance for Federal Crimes
Trump’s plans to monetize his presidency include “Pardons in Advance,” “limited” access to daily CIA briefings, and “ten minutes alone” with Melania’s old shoe collection. NYC – The … Read more
What is the ‘Trump Fix’?
The Trump transition team is a viper’s nest of pay-to-play corporate interests. In Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, it was his frequent, unbridled slaps at Wall Street elites and … Read more
Trump Lambastes ‘Humor Times,’ ‘Onion’ Editors in Two-Hour ‘Towering Rage’ Interview
‘Stop publishing the truth under cover of fake news!’ Trump screamed, threatening to sue. ‘Fake news should be fake! That means not true!’ NYC – At a “stormy … Read more
Trump Has the Greatest Humility, and He’ll Tell You So
Trump on his own splendiforousness What an election year. I feel like I’ve been transported through a cosmic squirrel hole and into a baffling political universe where facts … Read more
Trump Criteria for Cabinet Members Revealed
Transition team having a hard time finding eligible cabinet candidates The selection of Trump’s cabinet may be very slow going, as trying to find candidates that meet the … Read more
Trump Transition Team: Minutes from Last Meeting Leaked
In this exclusive report, we bring you leaked minutes from the Trump transition team. Far-ranging discussion with the Boss and entire management team about White House toilet paper; … Read more
Churchill Thunders Against Trump from Beyond the Grave
‘Have you idiots learned nothing? America, your Munich is today. Stop Trump now or prepare for civil war! This is not a drill!’ – Churchill HEAVEN’S GATE — … Read more
