Caffeine Issue Wakes Up a Sleepy Campaign
“Mitt Romney joins other observant Mormons in shunning alcohol and caffeine.” — Associated Press, August 18, 2012 In an effort to jolt President Obama’s reelection hopes, Democrats are … Read more
Romney
40 Percent of ‘Loser 47 Percent’ Were Going to Vote Romney; Change Minds
‘I used to like how he made fun of everyone else, but then he called me a loser,’ says ex-fan, part of 47 percent. ‘That cinches it.’ Mitt … Read more
Romney Attempts to Explain Himself: ’47 Percent Just Not All That Exceptional’
Says only way he could get that 47 percent would be if he was a poor, gay, black Latino woman The Romney campaign is exploding this week and … Read more
The Romneys Tour Presidential Bunker, Are Appalled at Condition
With Mitt & Ann Romney in the White House, a Presidential Bunker extreme makeover would be in order As the elections draw near, word has it that Ann … Read more
Spinning the Zero Bounce
The GOP Convention had everything: Empty chairs, empty suits, but no bounce Let’s speak about The Bounce, shall we? The Bounce being the jump that a three-day, red-white-and-blue … Read more
Obama Tries to Cool Heated Debate: ‘Death Valley and Aziza Tie for Hottest’
‘Next thing you know, some fool will make a crummy movie rubbing this Death Valley thing in Libya’s face,’ says prez Determined to make peace among nations, President … Read more
Ryan Loses it; Tells Romney to Walk Like a Man
Paul Ryan told his boss, Mitt Romney, to “walk like a man” Friday, after having “had enough” of watching the Mittster walk “like a baby” to and from … Read more
Workshops Planned to Keep GOP Convention Attendees Out of Trouble
Strip clubs historically a popular destination for the ‘family values’ crowd at GOP conventions The GOP Convention is finally here, and lest you think it will be all … Read more
Pat Robertson: ‘We Did It! We Prayed Away the Gay!’
‘We feared there were just too many gays in Tampa, but we out-prayed ’em,’ says televangelist Pat Robertson Pat Robertson today, on his 700 Club TV show, declared … Read more
Revealed: Mitt Romney Would Prefer to Trade Places with Paul Ryan
Was his introduction of Paul Ryan as “the next president” actually a Freudian slip? Mitt Romney has asked the GOP to look into the possibility of trading his … Read more
