Trump: ‘Jesus Was a Loser, He Got Caught’
‘I like saviors who weren’t captured,’ said Donald Trump at campaign stop, to big cheers. As “The Donald” continues to barnstorm around the country on his self-proclaimed “Greatest … Read more
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Health Issues Knock Trump from Race
Trump says he ‘deserves a Purple Heart’ for the pain he’s enduring. TRUMP TOWER, MANHATTAN – In a hastily-arranged press conference that has shaken up the presidential race … Read more
Rival Christian Groups Use Prayer to Influence Election
Prayer is the new weapon in the race for the presidency A new group of Hillary Clinton supporters has been formed called “Christians for Hillary.” They have initiated … Read more
No Ghostbusters in the Race for President
Spirits have appeared by the hundreds, attempting to influence the democratic process of electing the next president. At first, everyone thought is was just an advertising gimmick for … Read more
Near Miss at RNC: Tennis Ball Server Plot Averted
Camouflaged pink robot and redneck assault rifle army saves day against tennis ball plot. Inside, Donald Trump screamed at America, trying his best to scare everyone into voting … Read more
Plagiarism Scandal Worsens: Trump Accused of Stealing Entire Campaign from Mein Kampf
Historians outraged: ‘Mein Kampf plagiarism a clear violation of international copyright standards.’ CLEVELAND – The Trump plagiarism scandal intensified yesterday as top historians accused the family patriarch Himself … Read more
Olympics Dealt a Blow by Pokémon Go
The new Pokémon Go smart phone app is jeopardizing one of the year’s biggest events — the Olympic Games. Unless you have been in a coma for the … Read more
Roll of Duct Tape Named Trump’s New Communications Director
An ongoing effort to professionalize the unconventional Trump campaign has resorted to some rather unconventional strategies. In a further effort to professionalize their unconventional campaign, the Trump team … Read more
The Man Who Would Defeat ISIS Demands Apology from Grannie Ginsberg
Trump has demanded an apology from little ol’ Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. NEW YORK — Donald Trump, who has publicly declared that he will single-handledly wipe … Read more
It’s Official: Melania Trump is a ‘Public Health Crisis’
Red-faced GOP’s anti-pornography amendment would ban images of America’s future First Model, Melania Trump. NYC – Republican Party leaders were crimson-faced yesterday after their platform committee adopted an … Read more
