Trump to Sell Presidency, Cabinet Offices, After Election
‘That’s how a businessman runs a country – he makes a buck or three,’ asserted GOP nominee Donald Trump. ‘Besides, I’ve invested hundreds of my own dollars, and … Read more
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Revealed: Trump Plans for Coronation as King
Tiffany commissioned to create matching crowns for Donald and Melania Trump Donald Trump is making plans to be crowned king. This, according to an unnamed source at Tiffany … Read more
Sarah Palin Hired as Trump Campaign Manager
The former half-term governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, said she was “just so darn happy-proud.” WASHINGTON — Today, Sarah Palin was hired to be Donald Trump’s presidential campaign … Read more
In Desperate Final Bid, Kochs to Buy Uganda, Install Trump as President
‘This way, Donald Trump will have his own country to play with, and we get to pick the GOP nominee after all, just as Citizens United intended.’ – … Read more
‘Super Bacteria’ to Enter Rio Olympics: Could ‘Eliminate the Competition’
Analysts say that the population of super bacteria is so strong in the area, they could be the “last organisms standing,” taking the Gold in all watersport events. … Read more
Melania Trump Filing for Divorce from The Donald
‘I never realized what a complete a**hole he is until the presidential campaign,’ Melania Trump said. ‘Plus, yes, he has extremely small hands and totally fake hair.’ NYC … Read more
Desperate GOP Makes Offer to Dems: ‘Cancel Election, Keep Obama’
‘We’d rather deal with the devil we know for another four years than risk a Trump or Clinton presidential calamity with this election.’ – Sen. Mitch McConnell. In … Read more
Trump University Students Have Reunion at Bankruptcy Court
Trump University graduates recall ‘awesome times’ panhandling for meals. ALBANY, NEW YORK — Earlier today, two former Trump University students had an unscheduled reunion while waiting for their … Read more
Trump Declares Mental Bankruptcy to Avoid Debate with Sanders
“I used the bankruptcy law and did a tremendous thing — all the top people agree,” says Trump. Bernie Sanders’ recently challenged Donald Trump to a televised debate, and … Read more
The Fly that Landed on Trump’s Head: Exclusive Interview!
‘I have no idea what that stuff is made of, but it sure as hell ain’t no human follicles,’ said the dying fly from Donald Trump’s hair. NYC … Read more
