PGA, NFL Swap Rules
The move is seen as good TV ratings strategy for both the NFL and PGA. CULVER CITY, CA — In a move that both parties say has secretly … Read more
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New Fad: iPhones Installed Directly in Head to Replace Brains
With the ultimate iPhone plug-in, no thinking is needed! In the latest cool trend to hit the streets, masses of young people are getting their iPhones installed right … Read more
Satan Opens 10th Region of Hades for ISIS Art Destroyers
‘ISIS is even lower than Hitler and Stalin’ says Beelzebub, in unprecedented move HADES – The Satanic Council announced today that a new and unimaginably horrific Tenth Level … Read more
Idaho Rep. Barbieri Has Camera Anally Inserted, Searching for Brain
Medical hunt for idiot’s brain turns up surprising results: ‘I’m a Cupid Stunt,’ Barbieri says. BOISE, Idaho – Republican state Rep. Vito Barbieri underwent a micro-camera insert examination … Read more
Executive Order: President Approves ‘Ecologically Sound’ Oil Ditch
Obama uses Executive Order to move on Keystone alternative WASHINGTON ─ Citing ‘far-reaching’ and ‘drastic’ environmental concerns, President Obama this week vetoed legislation approving construction of the proposed … Read more
Bill O’Reilly Shoots Own Foot to Prove He’s Seen Combat
“I think this proves once and for all that I saw combat.” – Bill O’Reilly The controversy continues over whether or not the O’Reilly Factor host, Bill O’Reilly, … Read more
GOP Congress to Banish ‘Scourge of Science’ Forever
“Sham science is a sham, as everyone knows.” – Sen. Ted Cruz Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced today that he is working with “dedicated Senators and Representatives” … Read more
Boehner: Congress to Finally Debate the ‘Real’ Illegal Alien Issue
Speaker promises the House will take up the pressing matter of illegal aliens West Chester, OH ─ Responding to pressure from a broad coalition of mostly Southern and … Read more
‘God Bless You’ Mandate Gains Steam in Republican Senate
New Senate protocol would require all Senators to say “God bless you” at appropriate times. In case you haven’t heard, the Republican members of the 114th U.S. Congress … Read more
President Obama Calls for European Vowel Tax
Obama: “The U.N. should take some unused and unneeded vowels from the French and Italians, and give them to the under-voweled.” BERN, SWITZERLAND ─ In a speech yesterday … Read more
