Google Becomes Main Source of Knowledge in Universe; God Steps Down
Could God really be calling it quits? Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the internet giant Google has officially made itself the … Read more
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New Cable TV Show “Older” an Answer to “Younger”
Cable TV shows proliferating Given the enormous success of the new cable TV show “Younger,” industry copycats are busily trying to work on variations on its theme. One … Read more
America in Danger of Facing Internet Outrage Shortage
Strong opinions and internet outrage are in serious danger of being depleted, say outraged experts. The internet is a great tool in which people can express differing opinions. … Read more
‘Honest Abe’ Lincoln Ruefully Admits: I Was Wrong to Save the Union
‘The racism is so bad, we should just let those miserable bastards go, and we can unite with Canada’ – Abraham Lincoln HEAVEN’S GATE – The ghost of … Read more
After Bruce Jenner, Sen. Tom Cotton Reveals His Inner Jackass
“I will drive out mine enemies with the jaw bone of an ass!” Tom Cotton whinnies on national TV. WASHINGTON, DC – Inspired by Bruce Jenner’s recent transgender … Read more
Team-Wide Brawl at Spurs Practice Facility
A couple playoff losses, and things get crazy with the San Antonio Spurs A massive brawl ensued at the Spurs practice facility Wednesday afternoon, involving players, coaching staff, … Read more
Lost Journal: Comedy is Key Factor in Gross National Product
Journal entry: October 19, 1996 (age 27) – Comedy and the GNP When I moved to the Washington, D.C., area three years ago, it was my goal to … Read more
Hillary’s Promised $2.5B Greeted with Amusement by Super Wealthy
‘We’ll see Hillary’s $2.5B and raise it $5B,” Charles Koch laughed, opening his small-change purse. WASHINGTON, DC – Hillary Clinton’s recent vow to raise $2.5B in campaign funds … Read more
Lincoln Momentos Attacked as Americans Realize He Created the Income Tax
When Americans learned that Abraham Lincoln started the federal income tax, all hell broke loose. Upon reading an article in a national newspaper stating that Abraham Lincoln was … Read more
LA Controversial: “Kill the Gays” Initiative Author Offered Reality Show
The guy who put the so-called “Kill the Gays” initiative on the ballot could get his own show. The lawyer who put the infamous “Kill the Gays” initiative … Read more
