Taylor Swift Buys Chiefs, Installs Self as Offensive Coordinator
“I thought I could help and had some extra cash lying around.” – Taylor Swift, new Chiefs owner and offensive coordinator. Travis Kelce significant other and global pop … Read more
sports
Local Adult Baby Earns Spot on Olympic Whining Team
The adult baby had only one serious competitor, fellow Floridian Donald Trump, with his “Witch Hunt” routine. SARASOTA, FL — In the end, it was Stuart Walters’ floor … Read more
Breaking Sports News: Tombs of the Original Baseball Gods Unearthed
Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) A world-famous explorer has discovered the tombs of the Original Baseball Gods. SNN Executive Sports Editor and former MLB batboy Phil Phoulballze … Read more
Actual Goat Steps Down as Patriots Coach
New England Patriots coach, called “The GOAT,” announces he is stepping down after a Hall of Fame career. The New England Patriots coach who is widely considered the … Read more
Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon Join SNN
Dispatches from SNN Newly available TV news hosts Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon have found a new home. Recently released Fox News Channel superstar Tucker Carlson and former … Read more
Major Crime Scourge Morphs Into Latest Pro Sports League
Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Is there life after football? Thanks to a crime spree turned pro sports league, you bet! (Seriously, Las Vegas is “jacked.”) Carjacking … Read more
Corporations Win Olympic Gold in ‘Downhill Ethical Backflip’
The collective ethical backflip has been quite impressive: from the high ethical bar of human rights into the pits of crass, unprincipled commercialism. By far the top team … Read more
A Shot in the Park: Immunization in Sports
Before the 2021 NFL season began, the Las Vegas Raiders announced a “get tough” policy, requiring proof of immunization. Before the 2021 NFL season began, the Las Vegas … Read more
Now for a Sports Post: Jimmy G vs Patrick M
Okay, enough politics. Now for a sports post. Being a SF 49er fan, I just had to harp in on this with an uncharacteristic (for me) sports post, … Read more
This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Laptop Dog
Trump is Putin’s laptop dog. Trump’s legacy lies in his claims to defame. Those that demand the most respect invariably give the least. Propagandists attack in formation. Republicans … Read more
