Fans Naively Cheer for Favorite NFL Teams on Final Weekend Before Democracy Dies

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Democracy dies in darkness, or even in broad daylight, if people have higher priorities in their busy lives, like sports watching. Americans rooted for their favorite NFL teams … Read more

Taylor Swift Buys Chiefs, Installs Self as Offensive Coordinator

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“I thought I could help and had some extra cash lying around.” – Taylor Swift, new Chiefs owner and offensive coordinator. Travis Kelce significant other and global pop … Read more

Local Adult Baby Earns Spot on Olympic Whining Team

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The adult baby had only one serious competitor, fellow Floridian Donald Trump, with his “Witch Hunt” routine. SARASOTA, FL — In the end, it was Stuart Walters’ floor … Read more

Breaking Sports News: Tombs of the Original Baseball Gods Unearthed

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Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) A world-famous explorer has discovered the tombs of the Original Baseball Gods. SNN Executive Sports Editor and former MLB batboy Phil Phoulballze … Read more

Actual Goat Steps Down as Patriots Coach

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New England Patriots coach, called “The GOAT,” announces he is stepping down after a Hall of Fame career. The New England Patriots coach who is widely considered the … Read more

Major Crime Scourge Morphs Into Latest Pro Sports League

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Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Is there life after football? Thanks to a crime spree turned pro sports league, you bet! (Seriously, Las Vegas is “jacked.”) Carjacking … Read more

Corporations Win Olympic Gold in ‘Downhill Ethical Backflip’

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The collective ethical backflip has been quite impressive: from the high ethical bar of human rights into the pits of crass, unprincipled commercialism. By far the top team … Read more

A Shot in the Park: Immunization in Sports

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Before the 2021 NFL season began, the Las Vegas Raiders announced a “get tough” policy, requiring proof of immunization. Before the 2021 NFL season began, the Las Vegas … Read more

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