Lost Journal: On Second Thought, Leave the Septum Deviated
Journal entry: October 18, 2001 (age 32) — Septum “I’ve seen thousands of deviated septums, and yours is one of the worst I’ve ever seen.” I blushed a … Read more
Humor Columns
Funny columns by the best in the biz. Check out all our great humor columnists!
A New Voice of Morality Responds Bluntly to Right-Wing Rants Against Anti-Poverty Programs
Despite so-called recovery, poverty is worse The bluebirds of happiness are chirping away in our nation’s treetops these days, for America is now in the fifth year of … Read more
Lost Journal: To Make a Good Marriage, You Have to Break a Few Eggs
Journal entry: September 25, 1986 (age 17) — Marriage From the time I started high school at Seton Catholic Central, I knew that I would be a husband … Read more
Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Miley Cyrus and Much More!
Miley Cyrus, George Clooney, Obamacare and much more Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth reportedly broke up Monday due to her raunchy MTV Awards performance. One thing … Read more
Lost Journal: I’ll Have a Bacon Double Bacon Burger – Hold the Burger
Journal entry: August 11, 2000 (age 31) – Bacon Burger I think I just overdosed on bacon. Kevin Bacon. He and his brother, Michael, have a musical brother … Read more
Corporatizing Animals — from Cuteness to Cruelty
Hiding animal cruelty behind a cute facade Both the old and new media agree on this: If you need a story that’s guaranteed to be wildly popular — … Read more
Two Little Words
You can spend a lifetime figuring out who you really are. As I approach my 60th birthday, I‘m finally closing in on the truth. At the very least, … Read more
The World’s Policeman Stops for a Donut
World’s policeman conflicted by the concept of conflict Well, this is odd. The heck with an exit strategy. We can’t even work out an admittance maneuver. The automatic … Read more
The Poor Tortured Tomato of Agribusiness
Tomato tinkerers go back to the drawing board Warning: Agribusiness is in the lab again, molesting the “molecular machineries” of Mother Nature’s tomato. Actually, it’s the already-machined, industrial … Read more
Lost Journal: Victory Goes to the Science Fair-minded
Journal entry, April 26, 1982 (age 12): Science Fair Pierre and Marie Curie. Watson and Crick. And now, Murphy and Mollen. As we await the results of the … Read more
