Humor Columns

Lost Journal: Finding My Funny Valentine

By Tim Mollen, February 20, 2013March 19, 2019

Journal entry: March 9, 1996 (age 26) Pulling into the parking lot of The Little Café in Arlington, Virginia, I thought to myself, “Tonight feels special, in a … Read more

Fun With The News: Carnival Cruise Liner & More

By Argus Hamilton, February 17, 2013December 21, 2018

In the news, Carnival Cruise liner Triumph had a fire in the engine room off Mexico that knocked out all electricity on the ship. The food went rancid … Read more

Republican Reboot: The Red Rebs

By Will Durst, February 15, 2013October 11, 2017

Rovian Republicans form new “Super Duper PAC” Relax. It’s not necessarily the flu making you confused and feverish. Could be spatter from that big, thick, juicy, new, improved … Read more

Argus Has Fun With The News: Donald Trump & More

By Argus Hamilton, February 13, 2013July 18, 2016

The news according to Argus! In the news, Bill Maher was sued for joking that Donald Trump is the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan. … Read more

Watch Out — the Drones Are Coming Home to Roost!

By Jim Hightower, February 13, 2013March 19, 2019

For nearly four years, President Obama refused to admit a foreign-policy “secret” that was widely known here and throughout the world — namely, that the White House, Pentagon … Read more

Lost Journal: Dramatic Reading is Nicer Than a Snoo Beadling

By Tim Mollen, February 12, 2013August 8, 2015

Journal entry: January 23, 1987 (age 17) Earlier tonight, the talent show at Seton Catholic Central High School was filled with singing, dancing, and, in the case of … Read more

Barack Hussein Obama 2013 State of the Union Drinking Game

By Will Durst, February 10, 2013October 11, 2017

What you need to play the State of the Union Drinking Game: To play the State of the Union Drinking Game, you need four taxpayers of any sex … Read more

Hemp: A Common Sense Crop for America’s Common Good

By Jim Hightower, February 7, 2013March 31, 2015

Hemp, hemp, hurray for a crop that could deliver a new economic high for America! Four years ago, Michelle Obama picked up a shovel and made a powerful … Read more

So God Made a Farmer: The Sequel

By Danny Tyree, February 7, 2013August 8, 2015

Yes, the Dodge trucks commercial using the late Paul Harvey‘s 1978 speech “So God Made a Farmer” resonated with millions of viewers and was voted one of the … Read more

Lost Journal: Special BONUS Column Commentary

By Tim Mollen, February 4, 2013August 8, 2015

Journal entry: January 29, 2008 (age 38) Hi, my name is Tim Mollen, and I’m the writer of “Lost Journal.” Welcome to the special, bonus commentary track for … Read more